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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?

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[-] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 9 points 22 hours ago

My experience- YMMV. Be careful who you talk to and what gossip you engage in. Basically everyone knows everyone to some degree. Everybody is somebodies cousins friend or something. Its a good thing when you get used to it, more security and whatever, but it does mean that any social damage you do (cheating on someone for instance) will have far wider consequences than you realise.

Job hunting is extremely difficult for the same reason unless you're trained in some in-demand specialist skill. Every job goes to someone's cousin. In my last factory job we had an idiot working there, constantly on the verge of getting sacked, he attended a funeral one day and discovered that his dead cousin was also cousins with the manager. He was team leader the very next week for his overall diligence to duty.

[-] jenesaisquoi@feddit.org 4 points 21 hours ago

I think this really, really depends on the country.

[-] Stern@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago

The selection shrinks... on everything. 30 beers on tap at that nice brewhouse becomes 3 at the local watering hole. 20 different unique restaraunts becomes a subway and a chinese place. Groceries? Sure, enjoy your walmart and dollar general.

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Bar culture is a waste of money anyways.

You can get more variety at a cheaper price from grocery stores. It doesn't make sense to pay more money to drink at a bar with people who you're not close enough to visit each other's homes.

Anyone who spends $7 on a shot when an entire bottle costs $12 isn't using their brain.

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 9 points 1 day ago

I go to the pub after work once a week to catch up with friends who are there.

I wouldn't see them otherwise

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

Meeting people at the grocery store: 😰

[-] waz@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I'm a pretty cheap person, but I don't go to a bar to save money, I go to relax and socialize.

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If you're not living a boring life, then you should naturally come across plenty of different people with plenty of different opportunities to make connections.

"Meeting people at the grocery store" is a lazy and ignorant excuse to justify going to bars. If you think those are your only two options, then you're the problem and I pity anyone who gets caught in your web.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago

Why do I need to justify going to a bar?

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 2 points 20 hours ago

Ask the people here trying to justify why they go to bars.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

What is there to justify? Is going to bars immoral? Unethical?

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 3 points 16 hours ago

Re-read my previous comment.

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

And you don't understand that some people prefer the bar. But I guess you have the only right way to do things.

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 1 points 20 hours ago

If you're insecure about getting taken for a ride, that's on you. There's no argument you can make to change the fact that you are being fleeced when you buy alcohol at bars. Drug addicts say the same things when they are paying 500%+ markup on their drugs. "It's worth it to them."

Keep going to bat for the people ripping you off. It's what's expected of you.

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Lol I'm not insecure, nice try. When I went to a bar I had a pint or three in good company, sometimes, shocker!, we even ate at a restaurant, even if I could have been paying less for something cheap from the supermarket and eat at home.

But you do you, watch out for scurvy as you eat crappy cheap food alone at home lol, counting every penny.

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 1 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Lol I’m not insecure

Sure bud. That's why you keep trying to justify to us why you're not getting ripped off when you are.

I might as well be talking to a heroin addict. They don't think they're getting ripped off, either.

I've sold drugs to people like you before, and it's always sad when you don't realize how much money I'm making off of your ignorance.

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

So you're a complete asshole, a drug seller, trying to teach me a valuable life lesson, looooooooooooool 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

BTW you're probably not, just an angsty teenager sitting in mom's basement and have only seen drugs, bars and friends on TV.

Go touch grass.

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 2 points 19 hours ago

Lol I’m not insecure

Sure bud.

[-] Twinklebreeze@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

I was with you until you said grocery store beer. No selection at grocery stores in my area unless you want a lager.

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 4 points 1 day ago

I'm mostly referring to liquor because it's the most economical way to get drunk.

My local Walmart has a decent selection of beers, but I've been to HEBs that have entire sections devoted to craft beers. It may depend on the grocery store in question.

You can still get a better selection at a cheaper price at liquor stores than bars.

[-] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 5 points 23 hours ago

I’m mostly referring to liquor because it’s the most economical way to get drunk.

Why not bathtub moonshine? That is even more economical.

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 1 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Hey man, if you have more money than sense that's your problem. You don't have to go around replying to everything I post trying to explain why you like getting ripped off.

The profit margins for the alcohol you buy at bars is significantly higher than alcohol you buy in stores. You're getting ripped off, and in typical useful idiot fashion, you need to figure out some way to avoid acknowledging it.

[-] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 1 points 20 hours ago

Did you reply to the wrong comment or something? This doesn't make any sense.

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 1 points 20 hours ago

If you don't want to understand something, then you won't understand it.

I don't expect more from you.

[-] MrRazamataz@lemmy.razbot.xyz 10 points 1 day ago

If you think the only use of a pub is to get drunk then I think you're using them wrong...

[-] socsa@piefed.social 36 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The pond gets small really fucking quick. You will run into someone you know almost every time you leave the house. You can't just blend in and get away from anything. Including whatever reputation you develop.

It's honestly fucking awful.

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Y'know, that's the primary thing people cite as being nice about a small town. Interesting it was a nasty surprise for you.

[-] socsa@piefed.social 16 points 1 day ago

"Why don't you go to church?" gets tedious after the 14,000th time.

[-] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

He couldn't hide his reputation enough lmao

[-] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 69 points 2 days ago

How small are we talking? I moved from a large city (Ft. Lauderdale, FL 185k people) to an insanley large city (Brooklyn, NY 2.6 million) then as a sort of whip lash decided I wanted rural living so I took my RV to an area I was thinking of buying a few acres in (Mossyrock, WA ~1000 people) and plopped for a few months. It was not for me. Real "one coffee shop, one restaraunt, one bar" type place and while I loved it initially, the pain-in-the ass of day to day living was too much. Think 20 min drives to the closest gas station, 45 min drives to the nearest large grocer.

After moving around the area quite a bit, I landed on a place with ~35k people and to me, after two years, I am still loving it. Feels like small town rural living but downtown is a 10 min drive away with a bunch of eateries, bars, nightlife, etc.

Pros of 'smaller' town living (after trying a few areas that passed the vibe check):

  • Community. With everything going on in the world right now it feels like you are powerless. Shrinking the scope of your action to your neighbors and your immediate area empowers you to make change in a way you've never felt before. You can participate and have direct impact in all sorts of ways, from city council meetings, to improvement projects, to just participating in a local farmers market.
  • Safety. Some people may see this as a negative, and I guess it could be depending on how invasive your direct neighbors are lol, but for me on 5 acres it's been incredible. Everyone knows if something is amiss and are not afraid to 'ring the alarm' as it were. When I first bought the property I was parking along the road as it was very overgrown, countless people stopped and asked if I needed help with the car (assuming I had broken down) then proceeded to introduce themselves and have met a ton of people in this way.
  • Affordability. Land and housing is cheaper, groceries stay the same (assuming you are near a main interstate). You can buy a house for the price of an apartment in a large city.
  • Quiet. Being in a large city is being in the belly of the beast. The gears are turning all night long. With smaller city living, it's the opposite, peace and quiet, take a deep breath and relax. Night life and night owls still exist, but you have to go hunt them down.
  • Less Police Presence. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
  • Gardens and Greenery. Speaks for itself, less population density == less concrete paradise == more biodiversity.

Cons:

  • Commute. If you don't have a WFH gig, most smaller cities will not have an abundance of the type of work you do. You'll most likely have a commute so somewhere with light rail might be awesome for you if that's the case.
  • Gentrification. Depending on where you come from and where you are moving to, you might be seen as a sort of 'colonizer.' I don't get that sneer but I did get several people making sure I was not coming from California LOL.
  • Slower Pace. In FL it's known colloquially as "Cuban Time" basically meaning that time estimates should be taken with a grain of salt. The pace of the life is slower in a small town and you might find services taking forever to be completed. If you can relax and go with the flow though, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.

Ok this turned into an essay, this new coffee bean smacks. Best of luck!

[-] socsa@piefed.social 25 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Small town only feel safer until you end up pissing off the wrong person with the right influence. And then it feels like living in some Mafia nightmare. It doesn't even take pissing people off either. Tell someone you are gay in secret? Now half the town thinks you are a pedophile.

Small town "safety" is a myth for the privileged. The crime gap is also kind of a myth. Most small town police departments won't even write a report for domestic violence unless someone ends up in the hospital.

[-] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago

I'm sorry you have had bad experiences and they've stuck with you. I wish you the best in the future!

[-] DioDurant@slrpnk.net 24 points 2 days ago

I'm going from a city of 300k to a town of 2k. Fortunately there's a gas station and groceries in town, less than 5 minutes driving / totally walkable for small hauls.

All the pros you mentioned are things I'm looking forward to. I do WFH so no crazy commutes!

Thanks for sharing!

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[-] Ugurcan@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

- **Less Police Presence**. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.

That’s not the impression I got from Twin Peaks 🧐

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[-] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Also Ontario, not quite as small as you are mentioning but I also came from a much bigger city:

  • services you are used to and good you could find easily just... don't exist? My dryer broke and I wanted to find a laundry mat that had hours that worked for me and my work schedule, but nope.
  • people are all up in each other's business and it's normal. Gone are the days where I could have a quiet cry on public transit (lol what public transit) - people pay so much attention to your comings and going
  • because there is so much less anonymity you kind of have to make the effort to get along with people you might not otherwise like. Tangential: the number of people I see in unhealthy, unhappy relationships because they honestly "didn't have any other options" is wild.
  • people are way more xenophobic than I expected. Casually racist too, not really understanding that it's racism. I know it's not everyone and I think it's because they don't know anyone belong to demographics that are different than them.
  • I'm like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it's a problem for some people.
  • if you need a recommendation for a service, honestly ask your neighbor or someone you generally trust. They will know someone and that person is usually pretty good. We asked our home inspector if they knew any well people and he gave us a first name. After some googling we found him and he was excellent lol.

Eta, thought of a few more:

  • you said small town but didn't specify rural or not so this might not apply to you but the switch from municipal water to well and septic took a little adjustment. I went from surface water to ground water and the taste was very different but I got used to it quickly.
  • also a rural thing: We ended up with a lot less land than we originally wanted because we didn't realize the lower land/house costs were in places with absolute shit satellite or cellular internet.
  • way more drunk driving
  • people here smoke a lot more weed than I would have expected, which is nice for me lol
  • people have been really nice in general which is the flip side of the lack of anonymity.
  • rural grocery stores are expensive. I'm looking at you, foodland. There aren't as many low cost grocery stores. I really, really miss the little green grocers I used to frequent.
  • people take hockey very seriously. I guess that also explains the golf.
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My friends who have often complained about boredom due to the lack of cultural options and nightlife.

[-] aislopmukbang@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 days ago

My only surprise was how shit every nearby restaurant is

[-] toad31@lemmy.cif.su 4 points 1 day ago

Doesn't surprise me that the main thing city people complain about is they need more places to spend their money.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

"Oh, is Mr. Bougie too good for our local pub gruel!?"

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[-] Zephorah@discuss.online 15 points 2 days ago

Here’s the thing about “groceries in town”. You will find deals at the deli/bakery and possibly the butcher areas of the store. Sometimes. That said, 80% of it is ridiculously priced.

What often happens is people store more food and bundle their drive into town for stuff.

I will, for example, do most of my grocery shopping after my last shift in a run. Less gas and bother and it’s on the way.

We have a large garden. Two freezers. Cold storage. Two fridges. Fruit trees. If a snow storm dropped and we were stuck for a month we’d be fine. The food would get boring, but we’d be fine.

The one danger to this move you’re making will be the sounds or lack thereof. Once you go rural you may have a very hard time going back to hearing people and their vehicles all the time. As in they become a point of grating stress until they stop.

[-] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 2 points 23 hours ago

I don't even live in a rural area and am thinking of more ways to store/preserve food. Want to get a bunch of jars to preserve things in. Along with getting an allotment so that I can grow more although currently most fruits I forage from publicly accessible trees/bushes. Recently came back with a sack full of apples and cooked that down to about 5L of unsweetened apple sauce.

I was going to try dehydrating it but the first 2L batch has got me deciding fuck that, it will take so much time/energy to dehydrate it all. Storing it in jars should be much easier in comparison.

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[-] lennybird@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago
[-] DioDurant@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 day ago
[-] lennybird@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Oh wow, yeah, truly small. It depends on your own outlook and how willing you are to assimilate, or if you're okay with being kind of an outcast who sticks to themselves. If for instance you're a young progressive atheist moving to a rural Tennessee town of deeply religious conservatives, yeah that's not going to be fun. Small Vermont ski town? You'll fit right in. Alaskan town? They'll be conservative, sure, but given the weather and isolation, people have a tendency to rely upon each other and that brings the community closer together.

I grew up rural just outside a town of about 30,000 that was just transitioning to a formally-designated small city. You could go to the grocery store and not see people you knew 2 out of 3 times, I'd say. It's not always bad. We're social creatures and the internet has gotten us away from that, somewhat detrimentally.

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this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2025
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