It’s a scapegoat aka the identified patient aka the truth teller. The family is highly dysfunctional and instead of addressing the actual problem, they attack the person in the family who talks about the problem (truth teller)… making them the problem instead. Projection. Booyah. The only way to win is to distance yourself from them. They’ll see the light when pigs fly.

I'm 100% sure that my black sheep family member was just born an asshole, and talk radio told him for decades that it's OK to be a racist asshole, so he leveled up to that quickly. His bad decisions as an adult were his alone based on greed and short-sighted "I'll get away with it!" racist-privileged assumptions.

Everyone else in the family is mostly relatively fine, and no one would have gone out of their way to traumatize child 4 of 5.

Ehhh i wouldnt say you could say for sure. I know some black sheep that very much deserve it.

this is assinine. It also proudly displays the "everything is everyone else's fault" mentality which is deeply, profoundly toxic.

People with good mental health dont kbsess over the past.

Well, depends, some people are just shitty. My uncle repeatedly steals from the family. First time, he charged my mom for a wardrobe that he never made (he's a carpenter); last time, he stole my dad's identity to buy a car. I've never heard anyone refer to him as "the black sheep" and it wasn't until the identity theft incident that he was cut off from the family, though.

I was the black sheep of my family before it was cool.

...like in the 1970s.

ETA: I have an ancient blogpiece about this, and author Janet Hardy surmised that we weirdos kicked out of our paddling for being the ugly duck often have to go and find a paddling of like-souled ducks who don't find those traits so ugly. We don't necessarily grow up to be swans (or even scrappy geese who come back for revenge) but there are folks out there who get you.

I don't really think of that phrase that way. I think of it as "the person that did not follow the family dynamic". This could either be positive or negative by societal standards.

If the "black sheep" person comes from a crazy racist family, and the person rejects that racist garbage, they might be outcasts from the family for not following the dynamic, but they'd certainly be the better person in my opinion. Conversely, if the "black sheep" person is career criminal, and the rest of the family is law abiding, then the person with the "black sheep" title would the more traditional agrarian reference to black sheep in the herd and be an outcast from the family for their criminal behavior.

When I hear the term, I think of the Rainbow cover of the Quatermass song. But that's just me.

Sometimes. Other times you've got a sociopath, psychopath or - worst of all - a flaming narcissist on your hands.

Not always. My dad was the black sheep of the family because he was fucking crazy. It was a self imposed moniker. "Everyone was out to get him," despite constant love and support from his family, especially his mom who is a goddamn angel.

Bipolar drug addicts are not fun. Not fun at all.

I knew a family who's "black sheep" situation happened because of unreported pedophilia. They should've reported it, sure, but the victim is an adult now and just wants to move on, and the sheep in question fled the state.

So no.

Being traumatized and ostracized exists but sometimes people get the black sheep treatment because that's the least they deserve. I wouldn't assume anything about a situation like that.

Hmmm, is that why I'm ostracized? Have not talked to my brother and his many kids since 2016.

I hate my 2 sisters, so, don't give a shit about them anyway.

No. The persecution complex....

No. I’m the black sheep because I am creative and a juggalo in a family that is largely uncreative with a live laugh love kinda vibe. We all love each other just the same.

My father (a boomer) was the black sheep of his family. It started when he switched religions, which seems fucking stupid, because it is. But it seems it just went from there and never got better. He was fairly belligerent about it, which I can understand. I know literally no one from his side of the family.

In some cases it can just be that one person who chose to become an asshole or whatever

I think there are other ways. In the process of finding what aligns with you internally, you have explore outside the family.

Don't really agree with this, at least in my case. I consider myself to be the black sheep of the family, but that's mostly because my life's a complete mess, and I'm fine with it.

Disagree. Some people are just different from those around them. I never heard the term black sheep to be inherently negative. Black sheep make wool too, you just have to sell it separately.

I’m definitely the black sheep of the family, but not an outcast per se. I decided to reject the traditions I grew up with, but everyone remains mostly civil.

If they could "apologise and do better" the problem wouldn't have arisen in the first place.

Partly. I became the black sheep of my family of my own volition. They tried their "best" to assimilate and subjugate me to their vision for me, for what I was supposed and expected to be and do for the family. I pulled the Eject lever as soon as I found it.

When I was young, the term black sheep always implied crookery, from gently bending the law to absolutely smashing it. Maybe that was just my family.