One day I'm introduced to the new Networks guy. He seems.. fine? But I get a vibe from him I can't shake. He's sort of vague and noncommittal about everything. Which I empathise with, its his first day and I get the impression he's a recent graduate. I've been doing this job for decades and I still don't have the confidence to talk in absolutes when there's even a .01% chance of outliers or being caught wrong. Benefit of doubt is given.

It's quickly withdrawn. I was projecting my low self esteem onto him. He like me has a level of confidence mismatched to his abilities, but in the polar opposite to mine. We're all the new kid at some point in our careers, we all start somewhere. I'm more than happy to support him. But it soon becomes clear we don't share the same understanding of what support means.

"Hey, I need your help with something"

Sure what's up?

"A switch needs moving"

...yeah? And how can I help?

"...can you move it?"

..........I can help you move it, sure.

"Oh. Thank you"

So he's never installed rack equipment? Neither had I, until my first time. No worries, I'm still learning stuff all the time.

Grab yourself some ladders and I'll meet you with the toolkit.

"I'm sorry?"

You'll need ladders.

I may have put slight emphasis on "you". After a silent moment of mutual blank stares passes I think he hasn't quite understood what is happening but has chosen to go one step at a time. He goes off for ladders and we meet in the server room. I find the switch and I hand him a screwdriver. He holds this like a curious relic for a moment, and after quiet contemplation his gaze turns back to me.

Two screws on either side, undo those so we can move it please.

"Here and here?"

Yes, just those.

It's only going up a few Us in the rack, we don't even need to unplug anything. He looks to me for next steps. I talk him through the rack mount clip nuts and hold the switch for him while he screws the bolts back in.

"Oh so it's actually very simple!"

Yes, if you need a second pair of hands again next time I'm happy to help. But you got this now yeah?

"Yeah!"

Over the next months I get the odd message asking me to check or patch something. I feed this back to my line management. Job roles are reaffirmed. He is to ask for my support only in times where it is physically not a one person job. I hear much less from him until...

"Can you help me installing this firewall?"

Of course, where?

"Here, just above this router"

...I'm not sure what you need me for. It just rests on top of the existing kit. You don't need a second person for this.

A couple of days go by. Firewall is still sat on a desk. I mind my own business.

"Can you help me with this firewall?"

How so?

"I don't know how to mount it"

Same as last time, four nuts four bolts.

"It isn't that way in the instructions"

Fair enough, it isn't. They have steps to attach a sliding mount and he can't figure it out.

"I can't see how this attaches"

Looks like you have instructions that don't match the parts provided. This is a fixed bracket, not a sliding one.

"How can I install it then?"

Just attach the bracket and ignore the sliders and the runners.

"But that isn't in the instructions?"

I don't have what isn't in the box, dude.

"Then what would I do?"

I'm sure there is documentation on the manufacturers website.

I try my very best to maintain my neutral face long enough for him to click that I'm not offering to research this for him. I am not at all comfortable with this. For a friend or a colleague with a better mutually supportive relationship I would be there for anything he asked. I feel unkind, honestly. But management have made clear to him and to me where our responsibility lies and ends. Plus enabling helplessness is no favour to him as a professional. It's not his lack of experience at fault. It's an attitude that someone else is going to be far less gentle about challenging. We don't have the same line management but his role is above mine, I have no place to say more. All I do is make mention of it and forget about it.

"Can you help me with another job?"

What is it you need from me?

"Can you do xyz for me?"

I'm available to support you to do this yes.

"I'm just not really a hands on guy, can you do this for me?"

This is communicated up several levels of both lines of management. Last I heard it was explained to him in no uncertain terms that his role was not limited to what could be accomplished via SSH from his desk, and if he wanted a career as a network engineer he better step beyond his days in a university classroom network lab and join the world of skills being actually practised.

I still have mixed feelings about letting him learn the hard way. It's not how I would approach someone I was responsible for or senior to. The reality is at this company I would have been told to know my place at the very bottom rung on the ladder and not presume to interfere. I will never, ever take a management role.