1126
ancient problems need ancient solutions... (feddit.org)
submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org to c/comicstrips@lemmy.world
41 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 108 points 4 weeks ago

Ancient solutions??? Shit! That would work TODAY!!!

If Kamala Harris had promised bigger penis's to all men if elected, she would be president right now.

Thats how I know all those pills and whatnot aren't worth trying. If ANYTHING worked, it would become a competition. And suddenly it wouldn't even be about if women liked it. Guys would be walking around with 60 inch dicks complaining they aren't big enough, because their neighbor is 90 inches soft.

And the human race would end, because no woman would be able to even take dicks anymore, so they'd just stop having sex.

And guys would STILL keep growing.

But none of that is real. So I know anything selling penis enlargement is a scam without needing to even try.

[-] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 46 points 4 weeks ago

Twist: There is a reliable method, but it is being suppressed because penis insecurity drives so many behaviors that it is considered a load-bearing pillar of world economics. Penis equity would lead to global collapse.

[-] defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 4 weeks ago

It's being suppressed not by Big Penis, but by Small Penis.

[-] Honse@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 weeks ago

Big small penis is behind this

[-] andros_rex@lemmy.world 38 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Honest to god, 4-7 inches is indistinguishable. Everyone’s dick is fine. The vagina only has nerve endings down like 2-3”. It’s only really gay men who are size queens, because it’s different for anal. I’ve had good sex with guys with 3”, I’ve had terrible sex with guys with 8”. The size had zero to do with the quality of the sex, it was more about respect/kink/other shit.

Taking 9”+ hurts. Some people are masochists and like that, but istg dick complexes are ridiculous.

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 13 points 4 weeks ago

Man I hate it when I'm around someone with a istg dick complex.

[-] andros_rex@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

“I swear to god” - for emphasis because it’s such an obnoxious thing.

If I could afford a phalloplasty, I’d go for 5” and be delighted with it.

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 3 points 4 weeks ago

Oooohhh. I thought you had somehow completely flubbed typing the word "big", or something like that.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

Ugh. You're not even paying attention! She said she DOESN'T flub the big ones! She likes the average ones!

[-] kip@piefed.zip 5 points 4 weeks ago

myers brigg dick energy

[-] Tetragrade@leminal.space 4 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Real I (29M) am like 13-14" and chicks at the gym always telling me how big it is (my spotter (31M) and I always wear sweatpants), but my last gf (24F supermodel) said her last bf (51M, $2.3M, 101mm) felt basically the same.

[-] Fillicia@sh.itjust.works 21 points 4 weeks ago

Is that a copypasta? It feels like a copypasta

[-] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Lol. Lol.

There is a huge difference between 4inches and 7inches.

Sex is satisfying with any dick size and no dicks. Sex is not about the dick.

The biggest dicks I've ever had, were huge porn dicks (10" and 11") and they didn't hurt at all. Ps I'm a sadist/Domme, not a masochist. Everyone has different sized vaginas, and perhaps mine expands really well, but I actually have borderline TOO MUCH tightness per my OBGYN and accomodated them easy. That's because big dicks aren't as hard as the smaller ones and are usually spongey and squishy which feels way different during sex than taking the hardness equivalent of a glass dildo at the same size.

My two favorite dicks (based on sexual physical sensation) were 4.5" and the 10" one named above. Smaller guy just stroked it perfectly and I came so fast with him, I think we just had very good compatibility in what positions felt nice and his dick was a perfect size to reach everything. The 10" guy was nice bc he was still able to stay hard (unlike 11" guy who needed a ring and still got soft, but his dick was also WAY bigger around, like soda can sized) and his dick had a perfect sponginess+width to it that my lips gripped, it was super super good.

Many women like cervical orgasms and full penetration, the vagina has nerves along the entire length.

[-] Damage@feddit.it 5 points 4 weeks ago

Something can be ancient and still valid today.

We're still using many Roman bridges.

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 weeks ago

forms penis into Roman bridge

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

......wait, like 1 continuous penis? How big is this bridge, and what did that guy EAT???

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

Eh. Having a huge dick isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Big dicks tend not to get hard and flop around.

[-] ben_dover@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

sounds like what women do nowadays, with their bolt-on fake tits, duckface lips and glued on eyelashes. it looks disgustingly unnatural and ridiculous

[-] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

Then when you dress as a woman, dont wear them

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 78 points 4 weeks ago

I cast a spell to make them titties just bounce

I speak in a language only wizards can pronounce

Gimme my spells, gimme my book, gimme my cauldron and something to cook

I'm a crazy ass wizard, I ain't going to die, trust me on that, many have tried

[-] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 17 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Why have I seen this joke 500 times in the last 2 weeks in meme format and in shorts format and multiple languages?

[-] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 16 points 4 weeks ago

we (men) are trying to get back in the coven's good graces so they can help us with the source of all human misery (dick too small)

[-] blx@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 weeks ago

The source of all human misery? Oh man, as if I didn't feel the pressure enough already...

[-] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 weeks ago

I thought witches stole semen

[-] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 weeks ago

Why steal it when they’d have lined of men willing to trade it for a bigger dick?

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 1 points 4 weeks ago

Are you thinking of Succubi?

[-] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 weeks ago

It's from "What we do in the Shadows"

[-] morto@piefed.social 16 points 4 weeks ago

The same people that looked for "witches" in search of remedies and formulas for things like erectile dysfunction, penis enlargement, love formulas, and all kinds of related stuff were often the same ones shouting "burn the witch" and wanting them dead. Never underestimate human hypocrisy.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

And also blaming the witches for their problems.

Like bro? You were born with a tiny dick. Blame yer daddy.

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 8 points 4 weeks ago

Women in tall hats used to brew beer - which makes your penis feel bigger - in a cauldron at markets, but then men wanted to brew beer so they drove the women out and the image became part of the iconography of witchcraft.

[-] Sonor@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

is this actually true?

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 2 points 4 weeks ago

The bit about alewives is. The hat thing is supposition.

[-] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Unless it's Ancient Greece! There, if you had a massive dong they'd call you a stupid barbarian.

[-] Baphomet_The_Blasphemer@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

Like much of everything else, the Romans stole/adopted this Greek mentality as well.

[-] anton 6 points 4 weeks ago

It would not be a solution in ancient Greece/Rome, where a small penis was part of the beauty standard.

[-] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 7 points 4 weeks ago

If the people will not love her, they can fear her.

[-] Lumisal@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

Dionysus would disagree

[-] Mim@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 weeks ago

It offen depends on the depiczion of course, but this deliction doesn't look all that big.

Priapus, cursed woth ugliness and an huge, everlasting errection, seems more in line with that.

[-] Mim@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 weeks ago

But they probably wouldn't have wanted to burn her in the first place.

[-] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

The thing is, I actually DO know how to increase dick size with vitamins and I'd never tell the limp dick misogynists here :)

[-] christian@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 weeks ago

Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
1126 points (100.0% liked)

Comic Strips

18490 readers
1928 users here now

Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.

The rules are simple:

Web of links

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
lawrence@lemmy.world