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Flower petal distribution.
Like a voronoi grid with limited colors, each color a state. Every state would have a bit of everything.
If Dr Suess was in charge of naming the states:
Residents of Floxas notice no change.
I was about to say—we lost the panhandle, and nobody realistically knows what lives there anyway.
I think it becomes the most populous state
You should sort them in alphabetical order, my European brain won't be able to remember them otherwise
And put them all to a catchy jingle
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One line would be enough: to divide North from South.
I think we tried that once.
At that time only the South wanted independence, now it might be that both parts would rather live on their own.
These welfare queen red states would turn into Somalia in short order. If I can't make it back to a blue state before the borders close I'm going to fucking kill myself.
Better to have a small Somalia2 than turn all the US into the Beautiful Somalia of Covfefe, don't you agree?
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bible belt and sane people
Insular, gossipy, ugly, unintelligible, poorly dressed crazy religious dumbfucks and normal humans who actually have empathy and can accept their town gaining new residents without throwing a redneck tantrum about it every day while said new resident occupies free real estate in their moldy swamp brains.
Right thooooo
ugly, poorly dressed
meh ain’t hurting nobody
unintelligible
little our fault innit, also don’t wanna punch down
Get your emotion though not denying your feeling :)
From my perspective it's punching back. But there are always exceptions to the rule. My philosophy is "give respect, get respect", not "viciously slander, patronize and exclude outsiders until they break yet somehow still feel entitled to their kindness and expect them to suck you off and inflate your already over-inflated ego".
Split it along the time zones instead. Less states and simpler administration. Washington DC can be its own time zone just to mess with people.
Fuck that. The Northeast created this country and we're not gonna be erased.
you also created new jersey, take some fuckin responsibility for your sins
Fine, New Jersey is taking its Unix and going home then
I especially like IDiOTA
Also
America's borders
USA borders.
“America” is a shortened name for “United States of America,” in addition to the name of the continent. It can be both, you know.
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Believe it or not, those two terms are used interchangably and somehow no one gets confused. A continent AND a country can both have the same name without the world ending.
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Floxas made me lol
I like how the map shows the curvature of the north border (49th parallel), meaning all these lines bulge north in the middle.
Utucky
No u.
Alascanada?
Hawacuba?
There's precedence in Connecticut history
https://medium.com/@andyvillanueva_maps/long-long-connecticut-a6e014c52261
Fixed.
"Where you from?"
"Middle"
as an Oregonian I 100% accpt the decision to merge us with Warshington
Bullshit. I just moved from Oklahoma to California to escape the hell hole that is that backwards ass state and I'm not reincorporating.
You have ascended to heaven. If you ever feel stressed, just remember that the people you left behind are still playing in the mud and catching exotic third world diseases.
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Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn't make any difference to them and it'd be a lot more fun for the rest of us.
True story: "The meeting is at 1500 EDT". "Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I'll be an hour late. Are you sure it's 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?" "Yes, definitely 1500 EDT". /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.
I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.
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Maintana most beautiful state
Floxas gonna absolutely kill at college football
But the target of basically all the hurricanes
As a resident of Floxus, I propose we make the creeping phlox our state flower.
(It smells like rotting skunk.)
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this unironically looks like how some colonies used ro be divvied up. fitting for a colonial empire.
I feel for Louisiana getting lumped into Floxas, run by the mutant abomination AbbSantis.
Sounds more like a new line up of pharmaceuticals for the treatment of those suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute narcissism
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this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
726 points (100.0% liked)
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