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dominic sounds like he’s trying. I don’t think it’s rude to educate him, though. maybe try helping him use better wording like not saying that “sara is actually a boy”. maybe “she used to be a boy”??
Did Dominic date James pre-transition and then break up once he came out?
If so, he may have internalized homophobia and doesn't want to recognize that he dated a boy. He may want to think "James is actually a girl, so I am not gay" and that's why he deadnames and misgenders him.
If not, then I'm not sure why he thinks that way. If you want help explaining it to him, my experience as a trans woman is that I've always had a girl brain despite being amab. Yes, I used to present masculinely but I was still operating with a feminine brain. Swedish fish put into a sour patch kids box are still swedish fish even though the exterior packaging was incorrect, or in other words, my brain is and always has been a girl's brain despite being put into boy's packaging.
Also I appreciate you trying to increase others' understanding of trans people btw :)
Did Dominic date James pre-transition and then break up once he came out?
He dated James pre-transition and broke up after he cheated on him.
If so, he may have internalized homophobia and doesn’t want to recognize that he dated a boy. He may want to think “James is actually a girl, so I am not gay” and that’s why he deadnames and misgenders him.
He says he does it because James cheated and bullied him. Oddly, he has dated guys before and used to be bi before he said men were toxic to him and he didn’t like them anymore.
my brain is and always has been a girl’s brain despite being put into boy’s packaging.
Correct!! :3
this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2025
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