I'm not sure whether I want this to be read by GLADOS or Cave Johnson. Both would deliver the hell out of these lines.
Initially I thought Cave Johnson, but the enumeration in the first paragraph seems more of a GLaDOS thing. The rest could go either way. If on the other hand, the enumeration was phrased without "the following regions:", it would be more Cave Johnson.
The enumerations would work if he's reading it as a press release, probably uncomfortably, and with a few asides to an off-screen character about how he doesn't like it
With irritated paper-shuffling noises.
On second thought, could be 1980s Cave Johnson, when Aperture was seriously in decline.
emergency testing initiative voice from the start of P2, just for the maximum level of unpersonness
JK Simmons would do this press release proud.
I think specifically Portal 1 GLADOS.
I prefer the robotic announcer with the fake uplifting, soulless tone.
I'm a little surprised nobody thinks of that
Corporations supporting pride are canaries in the coalmine. When they stop chirping, you know something is wrong.
Besides, I don't like cynicism. Yeah, most big corps don't give a fuck. And this is what this meme is about. But regular gays work everywhere, and support does make a difference in those places
Exactly. I fucking hate rainbow capitalism, but it's disturbing to see how in the last few years I've seen less and less rainbow logos and flags.
Exactly. I fucking hate rainbow capitalism, but it’s disturbing to see how in the last few years I’ve seen less and less rainbow logos and flags.
Well, if the homophobes hate it, and the LGBT people constantly post "I SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT" why should they bother anymore?
Jesus, it is the company in Portal. It is a satire
I hear you. My reaction to the banks/other massive conglomerates draping colors for whichever things will retain the most customers that day/week/month is the same as the people who wait until the Super Bowl and then show up at work decked out in Eagles gear. It's sad that it has to be tied to something so fake but the support isn't exactly going to be turned down.
“And then, there will be cake.”
There was cake, just not for you.
So "So that was a fucking lie" was a fucking lie
*parts of North America
Most accurate depiction of corpo pride month attitude.
Some conservative is gonna see this and start a "Boycot Aperture Science" campaign.
god I hope so, love seeing dummies putting their dumbness on public display.
Quick spread the word to them
Same thing happens at Christmas.
Much more pronounced too. It goes way beyond a few posters and flags. Xmas songs, trees,food etc. It's on everything all over the place. Pride needs to really up its game to get up to Xmas level.
The Safeway here puts up Xmas decorations in September, so does math we’re going to have to start in February…
And keep it up till halfway the summer when you switch out for Halloween....
You might get accused of waging a war on Easter though. I suggest joining forces with the Easter Bunny, hares that lay eggs are queer as can be.
No one plays Portal here? No gamers?
I saw this or something similar a few years ago.
It's outdated today. Aperture is a defense contractor that wouldn't risk upsetting trump.
Ok but is that voice GLADOS or Cave Johnson?
in my head it was the other robotic voice. I think it was used in both portal 1 and 2
Definitely Cave Johnson. The tone is disregarding and corporate, GLaDOS would have been insulting and condescending.
I'll do my own pandering thank you. With a collection of clear virtue signals, a rigorous purity filter and a crew of fanatical moderators.
You never play Portal?
BASED as FUCK
Yeah and now that certain companies run the risk of getting flattened into the ground by Trump, only those companies that actually gave a shit continue to support Pride.
only those companies that actually gave a shit continue to support Pride.
By which you mean only those companies that believe appearing to give a shit will be more profitable than sucking Trump's dick continue to support Pride.
Isn't that's company in Portal (video game)?
Yes, a company that heavily satirizes American capitalism.
Yes.
Are you telling me that there are companies out there that actually care about the LGBT for real?
There are at least a few companies owned by people in that community.
Any of the multinational conglomerates, though? Not a chance.
He didn't say "Chariots!", so we know it was a Cave Johnson from an alternate universe.
I will be so happy for you guys once this gains widespread acceptance
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