Every day : adhd

[-] HeartyOfGlass@lemm.ee 50 points 5 days ago

It's thinking about what you could / should be doing, and then realizing you've been staring at a wall for half an hour.

It's hearing Step 3 and panicking because you had a question about Step 2, but maybe they'll answer it later on so you don't want to interrupt and- oh we're on Step 7 now.

It's wanting to listen to some music, and spending the next several hours deciding on the perfect playlist.

[-] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 20 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Wanting to listen to some music -> picking your favourite songs in the ideal order for perfect vibe graphing -> realizing your music player doesn't do gapless playing which is necessary for a perfect experience -> looking up C++ tutorials so you can fork your music player and add gapless playing -> it's suddenly 2032

[-] billwashere@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

And then realizing maybe it would be easier to have an AI pick similar songs for this project and then spend 2 weeks writing python scripts to do so like 75% of the final goal to only get bored with the project after the hard part is done and leave it unfinished.

[-] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

only get bored with the project after the hard part is done

Ah yes, the ADHD prioritization list…

Interest
Novelty
Challenge
Urgency

It’s because ADHD people don’t get any “ah, it feels good to complete this thing” dopamine for mundane tasks, and only get it for doing big tasks.

If they’re interested in the thing, then they don’t care about the dopamine reward; The task itself is the reward. Lots of ADHD people will have their comfort games or shows that they can focus on for hours at a time.
If it’s not interesting, it needs to be novel. Learning something new rewards that dopamine in a way that simply doing the task does not. And being challenged in new ways means you get dopamine rewards even for otherwise small tasks.
If it’s not interesting or novel, it needs to be challenging enough for your brain to consider it a large task worth rewarding.
And finally, if it’s not interesting, novel, or challenging, your brain can substitute adrenaline and cortisol in place of dopamine. So the task needs to be urgent enough to trigger those stress hormones. Every person with ADHD has stories of doing a week long project in three hours, because they put it off until it was so stressful that the stress was its own motivator.

If the task doesn’t hit one of those four basic points, it simply won’t be prioritized.

[-] MrShankles@reddthat.com 4 points 5 days ago

A 10 page research paper with 2 weeks to complete; written overnight and realizing how much more time you should have spent on it, and why did I do this to myself again (no AI to "help" you at that time). Saving, printing, and sprinting to class because you somehow managed to complete it 10 minutes before class starts.

Never considered using "Urgency" as a motivator, but it checks out... a lot. I like to consider it just being "optimistic" about how much time I have

[-] twice_hatch@midwest.social 6 points 5 days ago

I had gapless playback working on desktop a few years ago but now I just have this HTML5 player I threw together because it works and there's no way I'm gonna program for Android for free

anyway I hate phones

[-] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 3 points 5 days ago

You went much farther than I ever did. Mad props

[-] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 12 points 5 days ago

It's wanting to listen to music but installing Linux on an old computer instead because the thing you wanted to listen to is by a band who you saw live and they were great and you want to listen to a specific live version so you go to YouTube where your feed has an Action Retro video where he's putting Linux on some shitty old hardware again and you're like 'that looks fun' and you end up not listening to music and still managing to fuck up the installation.

[-] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 5 points 5 days ago

It's posting this reply 👆🏼 because it sprang into your brane then hitting post and realising that it's basically the same as the other reply that the comment got and feeling guilty for wasting everyone's time.

[-] LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 4 points 5 days ago

Absolutely brilliant comment.

[-] raoulduke85@lemm.ee 2 points 5 days ago

Shit, I need to get checked for ADHD.

[-] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 21 points 5 days ago

Me: Has anxiety about getting fired every day

Get's fired after 7 years

Me: "Son of a bitch. I knew it!"

[-] Randelung@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago

Yeah, but you're also secretly hoping for it. It'd take care of the decision you've been wanting to take for ages but couldn't quite justify. You know it'd be better for your mental health, but you're missing that one big event to 'force your hand'.

[-] demunted@lemmy.ml 4 points 5 days ago

Fucking called me out right there.

[-] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 days ago

Me too.

[-] nyamlae@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

A lot of people with autism diagnoses really should look into trauma. This is a textbook trauma response.

[-] Kojichan@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

The constant fear that you're going to get everyone's ire, even from a soft sigh. This sucks. Wish it was cheaper to get mental health therapy.

[-] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 15 points 5 days ago

When HR calls and asks if you can pop into his office and you're convinced you're about to get sacked because they've finally caught up with your bullshit, but he just wants to ask if you can do something for him.

[-] waterSticksToMyBalls@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

Am I getting a raise, a bonus, or fired? There is truly a no way to tell.

[-] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 6 points 5 days ago

It's almost certainly never the first two.

[-] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 22 points 6 days ago

The worst thing is when it actually happens. You'd think you'd be prepared. And yet...

[-] justsquigglez@lemm.ee 23 points 6 days ago

Cause it always happens right after you finally manage to convince yourself that you're overthinking things and that you're looking too deep into it. And thennn....

[-] fossphi@lemm.ee 1 points 5 days ago

finally manage to convince yourself

What is this superpower

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 13 points 5 days ago

Literally me with money, lol.

I don't have an official diagnosis, just some traits, but one trait I don't have is the impulse spending. I mean... I do have it. I am impulsive and have tendencies to impulse buy certain foods and stationary if it isn't too expensive.

But I am so fucking terrified of going into crippling debt, that it curbs any impulse to buy anything expensive ever. My spouse wants me to loosen up a bit and treat myself a bit more, but I cannot allow myself to get used to spending money on unnecessary things.

Was on the phone with him earlier today and we went over some dvd films we would like to buy for our collection (I compiled a very long document with movies and shows we should own) and I spontaneously came across an ad for acrylic brush tip markers and went down the rabbit hole with him on the other end. I think we talked about the markers - I explained the difference between acrylic and alcoholic markers, the difference between felt tips and brush tips and why acrylic markers with brush tips was a pretty big deal - the manufacturer, the prices, shipping and the history of the company and where it was based and spouse ended up saying "well, you can place an order on the movies and the markers. You should treat yourself" and I immediately closed all the tabs and went "nah".

I swear, if I was single and living alone, I would become one of those weirdos living in squalor while having a fat, untouched bankaccpunt by the time I die an old hermit with no heirs.

Poverty scares me so much I'm willing to live as one forever.

I am waiting any day now that the bank will send me an email, scolding me for having some magic, secret debt I never knew about and that I will end up on the street with my poor boyfriend who won't know what hit him. Anxiety is an irrational bitch.

[-] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 17 points 5 days ago

When I was young, I got diagnosed with depression and GAD.

A few years later I got the ADHD diagnosis. I almost definitely need an increased dosage now (I've been on this dose for 7ish years and I've noticed difficulty, getting worse).

Holy shit does Adderall regulate all that stuff. I can fo isolate my mind to actually important things like work.

Once it wears off at night though? It's like a giant ugly muscle man dude knocks are my house door and says "Room service!" Breaking down the door and proceeds to smash anxiety and grief back into my brain.

[-] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 5 days ago

that's anxiety, not ADHD

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

People with ADHD often tend to have more anxiety than “normal” people.

No, just because you have anxiety doesn’t mean you have ADHD. Nobody is trying to make this argument.

Try living a life where you remember far too late, and it happens far too often, that (something) needed to be done. Here you are having a regular day and the phone rings or a text message pops up and (insert “oh shit” here: missed your appointment, forgot you were working today, missed a class final or major assignment, a late bill, missed a deadline, etc.) because your ADHD spaced it out completely. And it spaced out putting the pop ip reminder in your phone. Or of you put it in, your dumb ass silenced the phone. Or you didn’t remember to make it an audible notification and hour beforehand. Or any number of opportunities you had to put barriers up between yourself and a fuckup that you just never did, or sabotaged yourself somehow, because ADHD. After years of getting painful or costly reminders of your fuckups you tend to get a ptsd-like anxiety where you will be just being alive and suddenly get anxiety because you remember the last time you were having a good time something jumped out and reminded you that you forgot it and fucked up, and you’re sitting there wondering what you fucked up even if you didn’t fuck up just because you know that last time you were happy you fucked something up by forgetting. And it was too late to fix that thing, so you were incredibly stressed wondering how you’re going to unfuck it, if you even can.

That’s anxiety from ADHD. That’s when ADHD is a real thing that negatively impacts your life. No, not just an “everyone gets stressed if they forget”, it’s you knowing you’re going to forget, trying to remember to not forget, forgetting all of that, then paying the price for forgetting over and over again.

[-] lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Thank you for writing this out.

Oftentimes I'll venture to the local junkyard for car parts, usually with a couple specific parts in mind, find that the cars related to my model don't have said parts (because someone else already got to it, or it's wrecked in that location, etc), so I'll snag a few other parts that appear useful.

Almost every time, I'll get halfway home and remember that the part/s I was initially looking for (engine bits, buttons, etc) aren't specific to my car model, and then realize that I walked past at least two rows full of "other" cars that had those parts available. But I can't go back because my wife and kids are expecting me because I already told them I was heading out and now we have plans, etc etc...

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Yep. The irritation and frustration is real. It’s maddening that the times you do remember it’s often immediately after and too late to correct. Like remembering to take your grocery bags to the store. After you’re already halfway to the store.

[-] lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 days ago

I rely heavily on to-do lists, calendar entries, and reminders. Without it, I would go insane. Growing up, my mom carried a full-blown day planner everywhere she went, and as I got older, I realized how beneficial it was. These days all my day planning stuff is on my phone, but a pen and paper planner is perfectly acceptable, too.

[-] Plesiohedron@lemmy.cafe 1 points 3 days ago

Google keep. That yellow thing. Take notes constantly. SO useful. And voice to text. Wow

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

This is the way.

[-] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

...because you know that last time you were happy you fucked something up by forgetting. And it was too late to fix that thing,

THIS. How come we constantly find ourselves messing up things where the only practical solution would be simply time traveling to not having done it?

I'm kinda sick of it at this point, either give me a way to fix it, or the slack I give everybody else. If nobody was mortally threatened by my mistake, it's not worth endlessly rattling on or yelling about.

I HATE disappointing people but I'm going to, and sadly statistically at a higher rate than others. Forgive me and move on, or I'll forgive myself and do the same.

It honestly kinda crushes me but I've found myself candidly and sincerely saying things like:

"No I don't wanna go to / do that fun-sounding thing unless I've literally got the whole day for it, because whenever I have too much fun I end up in some kind of trouble where I totally forgot something important or I had some place to be or something, so nah."

I really do wish I could turn to whimsy or serendipity more often, but I'm just expecting to suddenly look at my phone and see missed calls and texts like "Are you almost here?" or "WHERE ARE YOU!?" or something of the like...

I'm even aware this seems like irrational anxiety but boy have I been burned before...

[-] VubDapple@real.lemmy.fan 5 points 5 days ago

Most people with ADHD also experience emotion regulation issues, so it is easy for them to also be diagnosed with anxiety disorders

[-] bier@feddit.nl 2 points 5 days ago

Yes, I don't have adhd but for a long time at work I felt like this. Mix of anxiety and imposter syndrome I think

[-] prole 12 points 5 days ago

Lol, the reason I dread opening my work email every morning

[-] jadedwench@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 5 days ago

You assume I check my email.

[-] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

I thought that was just being raised catholic

[-] twice_hatch@midwest.social 1 points 5 days ago

Nah I managed to get Catholic guilt and Protestant work ethic despite being raised atheist

[-] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 5 days ago

True.

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago

Eh, I won't respond to it till it's an IM.

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