The names don't have obvious meaning in English but they did in their original languages. Simon is a Hebrew name from the torah and means "he who hears". Peter comes from Petros, the Greek translation of Cephas, the original Aramaic name Jesus gave him and means "rock". So Jesus gave a Jewish guy with a Hebrew name an Aramaic (nick)name because Jesus saw him as the rock (foundation) of his church.

Very common cult tactic to this day

Cult 101

Paul's is the funniest because he only got one letter changed from "Saul," even though he had used to be the biggest menace. He was a Christian hunter. Not like a professional one, more like McCarthyism but against Christians.

Saul was a perfect example of sin, and Jesus said, "Let's switch that 'S with a P, and he's all good. '"

(Please don't hurt me, I'm joking)

Edit: Wait, my bad. Jesus changed his Roman name, "Paul" to "Saul," (which was Paul's, Jewish name), and after Jesus died, when Paul moved to Rome, he went by "Paul" again. That's also right before he was imprisoned and executed and where he'd write parts of the N.T.

I had to double-check everything, lol. That felt like the mendala effect. It turned out he also spent some time in the Bahamas dreaming about some guy named Yosef.

A: "Good job Tex."

B: "My name is Sam sir, I'm from Wisconsin."

A: "Nah, you're Tex now."

(This is my vague memory of a gag in an Atomic Robo comic)

"That's who you'll be from now on... Shitpiece!"

Also every Hollywood agent with Jewish clients from 1900 until present day.

I actually sometimes do that to people too :P

Even in the Bible they people with deadnames.

you tend to do that when you and your buddies are up to street crime

“From now, Willard, your name is Clark.”

Optimus Prime vibes