Went through the same thing. Paused between Murena (at that time they weren't providing my personal domain / email address solution) and nextcloud, and proton. I went with proton. I could in theory do nexrcloud +proton. You do you.

And for notes, I went markdown route and obsidian.

As far as the "what you want" stuff goes, Nextcloud can do all of it and I use it for exactly that.

I use Nextcloud (currently using their AIO docker images) for all of that. Not sure if it checks all the boxes perfectly, but if not it is probably as close as youll find ready-made.

I assume you basically want protection against disasters, but not high uptime.

(E.g. you likely can live with a week of unavailability if after a week you can recover the data.)

The key is about proper backups. For example, my Nextcloud server is running in a datacenter. Every night I replicate the data to a computer running at home. Every week I run a backup to a USB drive that I keep in a third location. Every month I run a backup to a USB drive on the computer I mentioned at home.

So I could lose two locations and still have my data.

There is much written about backup strategies, for example https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3-2-1_backup_rule ... Just start with your configuration, think what can go wrong and what would happen, and add redundancy until you are OK with the risks.

I've done this.

For contacts, calendar, and files, I use OwnCloud, although NextCloud is as good/better. I couldn't figure out Self-Signing certificates, which is supposed to be pretty easy, but I am kind of a dummy. NextCloud requires it. On my phone, I use DAVx5, and I replaced the GrapheneOS stock apps with Fossify apps as needed - although that is up to personal preference.

For photos, I use Immich, which is hands-down the best option.

NextCloud also has options for document editing, photo backup, and notes, but I can't testify to those.

Syncthing is an ideal way to seamlessly sync files and folders between devices, but you will end up with the files on both devices. I use it sparingly, and they are phasing out android support. It's still very useful to migrate large file libraries and act as a stopgap for other services.

There are tons of notes apps, and it largely comes down to preference. I settled on NotallyX, which can import your Keep notes directly (using Google Takeout iirc). It also has the option to store files externally, which means they can be synced for backup. There are also self-hosted web-apps, like Memos, or the slightly more adventurous Blinko.

I got a lot of great input from this community not too long ago.

The one Google feature I am not able to reproduce is Google Messages. If you use texting to any degree, there are some FOSS apps with pretty nice basic features (I'm using Fossify which is nice). However, there are none that have solid group-messaging features, reactions, and other RCS capabilities. It seems to be a technical/logistical/legal hurdle that is presently insurmountable. Lots of people don't use texting anyway, so it may not be a concern for you.

Edit: And of course, you need a way to tie everything together. I use Tailscale, which is ridiculously easy to self-host.

3-2-1?

A few things. I also think nextcloud is the way to go for what you want. I've gotten rid of anything Google I can. Except for maps. Man, there just is no substitute especially when mobile.

I always do, but I'm going to suggest Unraid for a NAS. Pay the money and then just enjoy it. I fought with truenas for over a year before I succumbed. You can totally play around with zfs, striped arrays whatever. I do not recommend an external enclosure. I think you'll come to hate it for lack of ability. I recommend biting the bullet and building a machine or putting your current PC components into a real case with upgradability if possible.

Also, I wouldn't plan on running Nextcloud in a VM. Nextcloud is pretty beefy and a VM adds complexity that I suggest against. A docker AIO version of nextcloud running on as close to bare metal as you can is probably the best option for performance.

For document editing, I have had fairly good luck with OnlyOffice, although it is not without its issues. Others also recommend Collabora, which plays well with NextCloud and LibreOffice.

ZFS on the bottom, Nextcloud on top. Which distro is up to you. Mine is to be set up with nix on my next refresh this fall. Already in testing.