Dating in general these days seems like such a ugly slog I don't understand how people even find time to do something productive and play this dating game.

Feels like marriage is becoming very much desired again huh.

I know a lot of guys in the comments are saying they don’t see it so they don’t have the opportunity to call it out. And some of those guys are making good points! These communities probably don’t interact much with men that treat women with respect.

But I also wonder how much of that stuff happens and they don’t realize it’s harmful to women. Obviously sharing photos isn’t okay so that’s an easy one to call out.

It’s not a man’s fault that he doesn’t see it, necessarily. You don’t have the same experiences as women and it just doesn’t occur to you as often. Women are on alert 24/7.

Kinda like that thing about the number of guys who feel safe walking to their car at night vs the number of women. (I know some men are anxious in that scenario too, but nearly ALL women are.)

When I was an elementary school aged kid, I was afraid to play outside at my grandmas house because a man drove by yelling cat calls. This actually happened a couple times growing up.

At 14, a random man followed me home from school.

In my college there was a flyer in the restroom about how something like 1 in 6 women will experience sexual assault or rape. But really that’s just the number reported.

Every single woman I know has experienced sexual assault or rape of some kind. (I didn’t ask my coworkers to be fair).

That’s bonkers.

But I do appreciate those of you that are trying to be better! The comments here are reassuring and give hope for the future!

Davies was contacted by seven men over seven days who had all been scammed or catfished by seven different fake accounts that were using her images. She wrote an Instagram post to warn others and a BBC journalist got in touch, leading to her first documentary When Nudes Are Stolen. This was life-changing. “It was the first time that I had sat down with campaigners and experts who laid all those images out and said that what happened to me wasn’t OK,” she says. “No one had ever said that before. No one had ever said: ‘It wasn’t your fault.’ It was such a moment for me. It lifted the weight off my shoulders.”

Good Lord, that’s depressing. When people take advantage of you, it’s not your fault. What is this world doing to people?

AI will fix this. Everyone will have nudes of everyone, and nobody will believe anything is real.

Even watching porn will be weird, when you can only assume what youre watching is a computer trying its best to not turn the womens bumhole into a picture of a dog.

Any decent man who has spent enough time in locker rooms understands that ~30% of men are shitty people and of those, somewhere around half are probably violent.

Once you have a daughter or put youraself in womens shoes, you realize how terrifying those odds are for women trying to navigate this world.

yeah people suck welcome to Earth

Isn't white knighting a derogatory phrase?

These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.

I suspect there is some amount of survivorship bias type thing going on here. The type of men to hang out in such places are the type that enjoy it, and as such would never call out such behavior. The men that don't enjoy such will tend not to come across such content in the first place.

So the first group just doesn't care, the second doesn’t see it in the first place.

There is also probably some degree of the second group of men acknowledging that trying to call out such behavior won't go very far. If you said "hey don't share this woman's pics" on 4chan, you're going to immediately get laughed at, ignored, and probably called a bunch of slurs. And then they'll keep on doing it because you told them not to. And that's in no small part because these places are puedo anonymous.

Men can't get away with such behavior as easily outside of the internet. Calling them out in real life is far more likely to go somewhere. However ther are caveats. Again comes the survivorship bias thing I mentioned. But worse, if done in real life and calling out that behavior backfires, it becomes a teaching moment. "Don't tell other men to behave decent or they'll ostracize and harass you".

It's a fucked up situation all around.