Trans being fetishised is frightening. You're a person, not a sex toy, and you deserve respect. Sexual assaults against trans can start with fetishising the community and it's vile. I agree with you about male gaze lesbian porn... ridiculously long nails, rubbing the clip like you're trying to start a fire etc... it's not how we do it!

On the anal subject, discovering bottoming (I'm a trans woman) was one of the best things to happen to me and I'm really shattered that I can't really do it anymore. I would hate for anyone to feel pressured into thinking they have to, definitely not for everyone, but I'm glad it's getting more normalized and is becoming less... fetishy and a bit stigmatized? I don't know, it can be hard to sort out how I feel about sexual things like this and how it differs from how other people may because of my gender identity. Having a prostate definitely makes it more pleasurable but it's still only part of the equation. Maybe I found it so much more fulfilling (ha) because I'm wired for being penetrated instead of penetrating? (Which ofc not necessarily a gender thing but it is generally related) I guess my rambly point is, I'm kind of glad it's being seen less as some extreme thing and more people might discover that they really enjoy it too.

I don't do ABC but love DEF.

I spent entirely too long trying to figure out what those acronyms stood for. 🤦‍♀️

Good post! But damn, having the start of a porno beginning with a discussion about safewords and boundaries would probably be severely off putting

it does seem like there are a lot of problems with sex work - it poses a lot of risks to women, and serves men while catering to clearly misogynistic fantasies ... it does make me think this is one of those topics I need to educate myself a lot more on. I got far enough to move past being sex-negative and sex-worker-exclusionary (radical) feminist (SWERF), I stand with sex workers and support them.

Staying focused on the well-being of women is important, and resorting to right-wing alliances and solutions like criminalization usually just hurt women more. The SWERF response of rationalizing women as somehow deserving the harm that comes to them seems like victim blaming and treats women as though they are never coerced and operate entirely independently of the social pressures applied to them that so often lead to becoming sex workers in the first place.

That said, I'm sure there are really educated and intelligent people focused on this exact problem who have much more nuanced and considered perspectives, so my impulse is to start there to inform my views. So I guess I feel I'm in a uncritical, pre-educated state on this topic, and in that case what is most likely to fill that void are uncritical thoughts and reactions, there is a lot of anger, misandry, victim-blaming, and feelings that are probably come from a reasonable place but go to unreasonable extremes. So probably I need to spend some time refining those views and rooting them in evidence and good reasoning.

Good call...lord straight man lesbian porn a turn off. Have you tried audio porn as well? There's boyfriend/girlfriend AMSRs on soundgasm.