475
rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 days ago by not_IO to c/196

what is it with calling social phenomena deseases like, "woke mind virus" and "lonely mess epidemic"

these are covid words but they didn't tale covid serious, it's kinda weird

oc (kinda)

all 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 7 points 22 hours ago

The fact that there are brain dead misogynists ranting on the internet and a societal issue of loneliness aren't connected and its bullshit to try and make that connection.

[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

There's a male loneliness epidemic. And everyone who denies, mock it or victim blame on it is a terrible human being. IMHO people who suffer is not to make fun of. Empathy must be the basis for any moral system.

We can discuss the causes and solutions to it all day long. But sadly is such a politicized theme that agenda will come before any rational analysis. And that just saddens me. Because lots of people out there needs help, needs society to be better, and others just decide to bully them.

[-] JVT038@feddit.nl 28 points 1 day ago

This is a prime example of the fallacy fallacy, and maybe also ad hominem.

The fact that someone says ridiculous things like "women are dishwashers", doesn't mean that their thesis "there is a male loneliness epidemic", is incorrect. Additionally, if their arguments are completely wrong, it doesn't automatically mean their thesis is wrong.

Furthermore, I personally do think that there's a male loneliness epidemic. While people like Andrew Tate are definitely having a bad influence, we should think, "why are these people popular? What draws young men to listen to misogynists?". And the reason (I think), is because young men are simply neglected by society, and are generally quite lonely. As a young man myself, I think it is actually kind of hard to make friends. Other men expect me to be "masculine" (aka, be an asshole, be tough, etc.) and simultaneously I'm very reluctant to make friends with women, because I'm kind of scared of falsely being accused of sexual harassment.

I feel like if I say or do the wrong thing (which excludes physically harassing someone), there's a risk of a woman completely ruining my life by simply accusing me of harassing her. And while the accusation might not become a proper conviction (or even prosecution), the accusation itself is already incredibly harmful for my reputation.

So to avoid that altogether, I simply avoid women in general. Or at least, I don't approach them. I don't talk to them, unless they talk to me first. Because if I make the wrong move, if I look at them the wrong way, my life might already be over.

Does this mean I hate women? No. It simply means I hate how people immediately jump to conclusions when they read "man accused of harassing a woman". Personally, when I read that headline, I don't immediately think less of that man, unless he's been found guilty of it.

Does this make me an incel? I don't really know; I don't think I'm owed sex in any way, and I don't think women inherently hate me the moment they see me. I do wish I could have a more feminine friend circle, because it's currently all men. But yeah, I think things are kinda fucked up right now, but simultaneously I honestly don't really know what I (or we as a society) could do to fix this.

[-] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 37 points 1 day ago

It wasn't men (or COVID ) that gave rise to the term "loneliness epidemic". This issue is older than you realize. I lived through this, I would say mid 2010s this issue was being discussed (but only occasionally) based on men isolating in the late 00s, early 2010s and/or killing themselves. Deaths of despair & such. "Male loneliness epidemic", "loneliness epidemic" were solidly PRE-COVID TERMS coined by the researches studying these men. Men were "doing the thing", it was prevalent enough to get noticed, and they're like hey, this is weird, this is happening a lot. It's an epidemic.

This is a 2017 Harvard blog post...article...thing. 'The power and prevalence of loneliness'. It mainly deals with old people but especially concerns men. While I don't see the term in the article itself, it popped in a search as: "The epidemic — and health dangers — of loneliness".

This is a 2018 article from Church Leaders (lol), "The Epidemic of Male Loneliness". Basically word for word.

Psych Central Dec 2017, epidemic of male loneliness

The Walrus, 2018, epidemic of isolation among young men

Stanford, 2017, Loneliness Epidemic talking about men

April 2018, male loneliness epidemic

March 2017, HuffPost

March 2015

December 2017

Etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc....etc. Just do a web search specifying article dates & you will find a plethora of male loneliness epidemic articles well predating the start of teh covidz.

I think woke mind virus is more modern, probably making the scene during Trump's first term somehow. I can't quite remember.

I would argue terms like "epidemic" & "pandemic" are simply building on older terms used to describe social phenomena. Like "fever" has been used in that context forever.

[-] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 68 points 2 days ago

It may not be a "loneliness epidemic" (at least not only for men) but imho there certainly is an issue with men having a hard time finding a positive relationship to their gender, and loneliness probably does play some part in it.

[-] nimpnin@sopuli.xyz 67 points 2 days ago

There was this one study that found that people have significantly fewer close friends than 30 years ago, and for men, the change was larger. I would call that a loneliness epidemic.

[-] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 43 points 2 days ago

I don't mean loneliness in the sense of not having a romantic/sexual partner, I mean loneliness in the sense of feeling abandoned in a hyperindividualistic capitalist society.

[-] obre@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago
[-] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago

They put you in a green suit and give you a flying saucer it's lowkey kinda fire

[-] spooky2092 7 points 1 day ago
[-] gandalf_der_12te 1 points 1 day ago

i found the german term "vereinzelung" for this

vereinzelung führt zu vereinsamung

es gibt einen verlust an sozialem zusammenhalt.

[-] yesman@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

The MRA types think that men are owed affection, companionship, and love. And society must change (revert) to accommodate them. So in that since, "male loneliness" is a stalking horse for loss of status and a return to traditional gender rolls. The radicals in this movement just wanna go back farther. To the 50s! The seventeen fifties.

But even if your not a chud, individualism and alienation have created a circumstance where forming and maintaining human relationships isn't valued or supported. And men suffer more because they lack the institutional support of feminism.

Women got Judith Butler to tell them that gender was something they owned and controlled. Men got Jordan Peterson to tell them that gender is a prison and if women don't get back in their cells, we're all doomed.

[-] jaemo@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 days ago

That's a stunningly good picture of Jordan Peterson. Usually he looks like a piece of very well used chamois cloth.

[-] zea_64 16 points 2 days ago

If only they could listen to feminists and see the actual (self-imposed) problem

[-] HK65@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 days ago

So say I'm lonely because I have few friends I can barely afford to meet.

How can feminists help me?

[-] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 31 points 2 days ago

You can radicalize them and seize the means of production together.

[-] ExtraPartsLeft@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Online table top RPGs. All of my (mostly male) gaming buddies are feminists, and they help me be less lonely. You can play for free with very little effort.

[-] silverhand@reddthat.com 5 points 1 day ago

Except time is not "free". When someone says they can't afford hanging out they usually mean they don't have time, not that they don't have petty cash to spend on a weekend.

[-] ExtraPartsLeft@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

The person I responded to said nothing about why they couldn't afford to meet. So I interpreted it as the common usage of it to mean financially. If someone can't afford a few hours a week when they are lonely to get online and play a game, well, that sucks, and I can't help them from this side of my screen. So I offered an idea as the only help I can give.

[-] spooky2092 3 points 1 day ago

You can play for free with very little effort.

I've thought about doing this, but I have no idea where to even start to find a group playing the games I wanna play.

[-] ExtraPartsLeft@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Roll20 has a way to find others online. I've been extremely lucky and meet someone in college that loves to DM. Several of the people in the group I'm in found each other through that before I joined.

[-] Reyali@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

Look for local game shops and see what they have available; start connecting with the folks there even if it’s not necessarily the games you want to play because the more you build those connections, the more likely you are to end up with a group that does.

If you live somewhere that doesn’t have local game shops, there are online groups. I’ve been out of it long enough to not know what to suggest here specifically though.

[-] magic_smoke 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Same except instead of hating everything its literally because I'm not a dude and straight ladies saw it before I did lmao.

You'd think the fact that every girl I've fucked around with has been queer in some way would've been a hint.

[-] metaStatic@kbin.earth 8 points 2 days ago

lonely mess epidemic

I'm stealing this so hard

[-] match@pawb.social 5 points 2 days ago

I'd open a sentō if the government were giving me money but good luck convincing American men that it's not gay

[-] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 3 points 1 day ago

.......I mean......personally I'd be down for it, I really would, especially if it's made into idk some kind of luxury experience like bathhouse/coffeehouse with WiFi. Idk just dress the shit up out of it.

But I think with all of America's social issues & gender fights, random bullshit problems we create for ourselves, it would only be a matter of time before someone, somehow, is discriminated against. Files lawsuit. Sues the ever-loving shit out of the bathhouse. Bye-bye bathhouse. Between the "gay" stereotype & the sue-happy culture, your sentō is all but doomed to fail. Unfortunately.

Unless you could lawyer up & make a sentō that is somehow impervious to ridiculous, frivolous lawsuits.

this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
475 points (100.0% liked)

196

17461 readers
509 users here now

Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.


Rule: You must post before you leave.



Other rules

Behavior rules:

Posting rules:

NSFW: NSFW content is permitted but it must be tagged and have content warnings. Anything that doesn't adhere to this will be removed. Content warnings should be added like: [penis], [explicit description of sex]. Non-sexualized breasts of any gender are not considered inappropriate and therefore do not need to be blurred/tagged.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact us on our matrix channel or email.

Other 196's:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS