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I am God. (lemmy.world)
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[-] Omega_Man@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago

"Abe, Abe. Kill your son.Just kill him man. Do it! Your God demands it, pussy! Do it!"

"Oh myself! You were actually going to do it! Don't be crazy I was joking!"

[-] 474D@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

That must have been a seriously awkward walk back down the mountain

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son,"
Abe said, "Man, you must be putting me on."
God said, "No", Abe said, "What?"
God said, "You can do what you want Abe, but
Next time you see me coming, you'd better run"

[-] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

It's just a prank, bro!

[-] Bigfishbest@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I've been thinking about that particular event. Leonard Cohen has a song about it as well that put me on this track.

Now, as a historical fact, back in those days, sacrificing ones children was a not uncommon thing to do. The old testament god in several places tells the israelites NOT to put their children to the fire, as the term was. But if you read the texts you find that the israelites weren't very good at following commands, and one could guess that god knew that.

So he puts his favorite follower through the worst nightmare imaginable, demanding that he sacrifice his beloved son. Put him through the ringer, of doubt, despair, fear, and sorrow, let it sink in what it actually means to sacrifice a child. Then stop him. It's basically show don't tell. Put the experience of the evil of that action into his heart, and vaccinate him against such ideas. And while Abraham took that lesson to heart, I'm reasonably certain that Isaac took the lesson even more, and taught it well to all his descendants.

Is it a shit thing to do? In one man's perspective, yeah. But to set a people on a path away from human sacrifice, I'd say it wasn't a very high price to pay.

And that's if you take the story and all literally. If you take it figuratively, as a demonstration of what is the path to goodness, to people in a bronze age culture, I'd say the story carries the message across exceptionally well.

I'm a history teacher, and the first thing you learn is that history must be understood by its own time and standards, not by ours. The story of Isaac is a great example of what in our modern eyes is pure malice, but to its original culture it was a story that had the function of making a culture better.

[-] tlekiteki@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 week ago

It all started when this dude Abraham fucked a goat and got dick rot. He couldnt bear the loss of his foreskin and took comfort in needlessly cutting the same off of helpless infants.

[-] rebelsimile@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 week ago

ok but hear me out - if you eat him/me and drink our blood then you will not die after you die but you’ll live. We’re made of bread. Also we are a throuple.

[-] killeronthecorner@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Wait.. this is just a holiday on the med

[-] Kertyna@feddit.nl 18 points 1 week ago

I made myself human in order to sacrifice myself unto myself to appease myself.

[-] spicehoarder@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

More evangelicals should be this loving, they should be sacrificing themselves more often.

[-] seeigel@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago

What is that self?

[-] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 14 points 1 week ago

I’ve always said it, but the Bible would honestly make a really good JRPG video game.

[-] RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee 10 points 1 week ago

And who will torture you for eternity? The thing I made who tried to overthrow me. But I knew about that already because I am omniscient and my plan is infallible, so I literally made a creature to try and overthrow me and fail, and then made them ugly and punished them for all of time.

[-] Nelots@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

infallible

Hahahahaha. Christians wish the bible could be that consistent. He expressed regret many times throughout the bible. How does an unchanging being regret something when they not only knew exactly how it would play out, but even created all of the circumstances that lead to it? Sounds like things didn't go how he planned it to.

[-] hash@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 week ago

Having a distinct trinity is one of the rare things that makes sense in mormonism. Also fun fact: they don't really have a standard hell. Just a tiered heaven system with the lowest basically being earth. Apparently there's a special place for mega fucked up people, but it's more like a very elite hell.

[-] spicehoarder@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

I think we can all agree Hitler goes to hell, but what I never understood is how my friends could go to hell because they swore or disrespected there mother

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

*I killed Heime at 30 as a true test of faith because it would have been too easy to see my divine nature if I had remained at the age of perfection for centuries before giving myself as sacrifice.

[-] PresidentCamacho@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I came to this conclusion around highschool age, my take on the wording of this sentiment was usually "An omnipotent being fucked a women who then gave birth to his son/self, so that the child/clone could die to learn something he didnt before about the humanity he created"

also "I gave you free will, so you better use it to believe this story that you would never believe otherwise"

and finally "If i live life as a good person and get sent to hell because i didnt believe a fake sounding story then god is a pathetic narcissist and i want nothing to do with him anyways"

Im just thankful my parents would always ask "well what do you think?" whenever i asked them about religion. I always try to keep that in mind as a form of sympathy for people who were manipulated in childhood. "Faith" has better PR than "Ignorance".

[-] ProbablyBaysean@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago

My understanding is that the trinity from the nicene creed is a political document (not truthful nor religious) and it was designed to be universal(a translation of catholic) so that natives in each land (Christians and pagans) could have lip service that "we believe what you do" by the political catholic clergy who were the only ones allowed to interpret scriptures (or you had a Heretic death penalty) until the political power was secured, and after power was secured, a creed and rosary was enough to keep free thinking in line.

I need this on a t-shirt, stat.

TIL God is Phillip J. Fry.

All hail our lord and savior, thine holiness, Lord Fry. May the...

001100
010010
011110
100001
101101
110011

...be with you!

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

I'm god.

[click the link, its a classic]

this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
807 points (100.0% liked)

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