its a lie. its how they cover.
Look up gaslighting
That sounds like one of my parents. They are a narcissist.
They're doing it to save face and appear nice. They know they rules of society and push them as far as they can to gain advantage. If they know that being mean to you gets the same results as being nice, they will be mean.
Abusive people are generally selfish and manipulative. As such, they know that abuse has to be 1:1, with the appearance of normalcy to everyone else. Being rude in public would cede their abusive power over any individual.
EXCEPT
When abusive people gain a critical mass of followers in public, the behaviour reserved for 1:1 interactions goes public, and they start behaving in public like they always do in private.
A good example of this is Donald Trump.
Because they don't want to pay the social costs of being seen as rude.
Because they are extremely insecure so they put the act on to fit in. Definitely cut these type of people out of your life completely. They need people to like them, but when they know they can get that from a person their true colors come out.
If everything looks good in public, there's no reason to ask questions about what happens behind closed doors.
They view you as a punching bag but want others to think they're perfect.
i also have mental disorders and they look down on ppl with mental disorders
You need to leave that person yesterday
i did
If abusers were mean 24/7, they wouldn’t have access to victims.
Domestic violence research shows a “honeymoon” cycle. Abuse escalates to a breaking point, then the abusers relents, becomes especially kind and showy (especially in public.)
It’s the “trauma bond” (not the false pop-psych understanding “we experienced something traumatic together and that brought us closer”) but that abusers manipulate that intensity of emotion to create a sort of “addiction.”
You get used to the highs and the lows. Being hit and then the next day at a nice restaurant. The sexual abuse and the trips to Disneyland. It’s supposed to fuck with your head. It’s supposed to make it harder to leave.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
Learning about it was a life changer.
They know it's not acceptable it's just that they're pieces of shit people.
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