...i tie back my hair or tuck it behind my ears when i eat...

I just put my hair up when I eat

It's just extra seasoning.

I have dreadlocks. If there are hairs in my food, i will know :D

No, I pull it back when I eat. And when I cook or serve food.

I've have long hair for about 35 years now. I guess mine is wavy too (?) although when it's humid I'll get some tight pipe curls. Just tie it back out of the way. Best hair bands I've found are made of pantyhose material, they don't snag or wrap up in your hair. They do come in different sizes so if you have thick hair you can get a larger band.

Regardless, no matter what you do you'll always eventually get some hair in your food.

I normally make a pony tail while eating (or at least brush then back over my shoulders and into my shirt to hold them there) I also have very strong hair, I recommend those silicon hair ties which look like sealing rings, they hold everything. If they break, just get thicker ones

Most girls I see with big curly (or other textured) hair use wraps or bonnets of some kind, usually silk. It does usually have a snug elastic band around the forehead, backs of the ears, and nape of the neck, but the top that holds the actual hair is usually looser and flowy. Another option is to contain the hair in a silk scarf wrapped in some sort of elaborate layered wrap system that you can either look up on YouTube or possibly go learn from a black or other curl / texture specializing hairdresser. If you're looking for something more masculine, black men usually call it a do-rag, or you could get a bonnet that is in a darker more subdued color and side profile.

In either case you would have to accept that big textured hair does demand somewhat counter-cultural styles just for practical reasons; there's a lot of stigma around them, at least in the states. I work in an institutional setting in a predominately black area and one of the more twisted bits of US irony is that we institutionalize black and other non-white people more often, then don't stock the hair products they need, then send them to court looking a fucking mess.

We had a really really beautiful success / recovery story this week after I had an utterly hellish experience with the same patient the previous week and I was reflecting that I really live for those moments because it can be otherwise difficult to justify my role in this system, and I work in the nicer mental health half now, not the completely fucked correctional end. Sorry for the tangent, I've had some pretty big emotional highs and lows of late.

I have adopted a somewhat haughty looking stance for eating where my head is angled back just to avoid this.

Yes.

What I have difficulty with, is when some wayward knotted cluster I've inadvertently consumed, tries to jump ship the next day in the restroom, while having managed to braid itself on one end into my derrière hair, while the other side of it is still chilling somewhere up in my small intestine.

Eh, a ponytail is easy.

But, yeah, back in my younger days when I let it stay loose when I wasn't at work, and now when I'm feeling all sexy, it can get in the way of things.

Less now, what with the balding, but still.

Tbh though, the only time I ran into heavy infiltration while eating was when there was a lot of air movement. Since neither my Jr high or high school was air conditioned, that was pretty much all warm days, and the cold days where they needed air flow. Those ceiling fans could move.

I have fairly straight hair once it's past shoulder length, so that might help. It's super fine though, so it doesn't take much to get it moving.

My beard doesn't get in the way at all. My mustache, however, when I let it reach soup strainer length and don't use wax or balm, sandwiches are a laugh :)

No. Sometimes.

Beards are sometimes like that too.

Let's talk more about the headbands. I use the cheap elastics and haven't had an issue. Have you tried a large handkerchief?

Nah, I just tuck it behind my ear and eat with a weird little hunch and it's fine

For the last three years I've let my hair grow out and donate it once its about 15in long. My hair is probably 2c if I let it air dry. It was annoying but I learnt to live with it by tying the sides of my hair back and tucking my crown's hair underneath the tie. Some strands will sneak out eventually but it's manageable.

However, what I have not found a solution for is my moustache. I like to have my moustache grown out, Tsar Nicholas style, but eating anything is a chore. Sandwiches, burgers, and pizze mean I'm munching on my own stache and pulling some hair out, soups and stews mean I'll be patting dry the contours of my mouth down to my chin. The only things I can eat comfortably are things I can skewer with a fork. Really puts on a damper on my hair game since I have to trim it a lot for it not to be a bother.

Back when I wore it long, the problem was getting it in my pants?? How did I have that problem but not getting it in my mouth

I just make a something like a chingion tail. Normal pony tail + another half. This works for me.

i just use a hat or a bandana to keep it back when i'm eating.

My hair is curly and thick, shoulder length but I've learned to eat without putting it up. It doesn't seem to get in the way anymore. Layers help.

Now when I grew it out to see how long it would get, I was washing it and there was a hair in my butt, went to remove it and found it was still connected to my head. This was disturbing enough that I cut it and never did figure out the terminal length.

i just tuck my hair into my shirt before i eat

I have lion style so it never fall