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Just asking (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 months ago by PugJesus@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] yesman@lemmy.world 160 points 2 months ago

This is is patriarchy in real time. He's attacking that guy's masculinity as a public reminder that real men enforce gender norms even in the most intimate relationships. It's preying on insecurity to control men to control women.

This kind of gender enforcement is pretty common for boys aged 4 until death. The trick of the true oppressor is to get you to surveil yourself.

[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 64 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Allow me to share a small personal story. An anecdote, as it is often called.

I was home for ten years with my children. I changed diapers, took care of meals and chores, and when it was time for it, I took my children to pre-school.

Being a stay at home father, being present for my children, was trampled on by teachers and the mothers of other children. It was disrespectful, demeaning. I was unwelcomed and unwanted. Some even tried to create a narrative that I was a danger to the children.

Women were more vitriolic and systematic in their gender affirmation than men.

That is extremely sad and telling.

The guy in the post is an idiot and being told to shut up and told off, followed by perhaps a couple of punches to the teeth would be enough to get him to stay quiet.

Women would not be so easy to handle.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 39 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

This. I'm trans and I've existed in public as both a man and a woman.

Nothing is more soul-crushing than being called The Devil simply for being of a sex that isn't even one you want to be!

One of the few Right Wing talking points that I sort of agree with is the idea that men are demonized just for existing, because they REALLY are. I'm not surprised men are responding with hostility to being told their very masculinity is toxic.

Don't get me wrong, Dudebros are still fucking awful, but... "I get it" if that makes sense.

Doesn't mean I recommend anyone takes Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson's advice and no incels are not based, but... damn ya know.

[-] Soulg@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 months ago

This is one of the primary things pushing young men toward the right. I always try to point that out and advocate against the relentless bashing, but that just gets me called misogynist or told that they just need to suck it up and deal with it. It sucks.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago

We need to tell men that it's okay for boys to cry, and that if someone hurts them we promise not to laugh at them, and we need to fucking mean it.

[-] Soulg@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

Absolutely, but something needs to be done about all the girls on apps like tiktok who perpetuate this. "He cried and I got the ick" etc

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[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 months ago

Because you're seen as pushing back on the feminist agenda. Funny thing, feminism is about equality, not reversing roles nor pushing down individuals.

[-] Soulg@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 months ago

Same type of people who think they're feminists but then openly laugh at the idea of the male loneliness epidemic

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

The movement may have started as equality, but it has clearly been either co-opted by bad faith agents, misandrists, and career sociopaths.

[-] CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

Feminists missed out and are continuing to miss out on an opportunity to bridge the gap. Men aren't choosing Tate and Peterson because they're the best version of masculinity, they're choosing them because they're some of the only people telling men you don't have to hate yourself, and they're acknowledging that things really are challenging for men.

It's how Trump won too. While everyone was talking about how great things are, he was telling a different story: things were great, but they're a bit shit right now. While he named the wrong enemy (it's always oligarchs), most people wouldn't know that and were just happy to have someone call the issue out at all.

Feminists and Democrats have a choice now: take class and men's issues seriously, or keep losing ground. Given the latest events at the DNC, it doesn't sound like Democrats learned anything. Maybe the major feminist orgs are doing the necessary self-examination? I'm not hopeful to be frank, but I'm open to it.

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[-] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 months ago

Banger quote at the end right there

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[-] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 118 points 2 months ago

Fuck man. I'd love to be in his position lol.

Wife rich as fuck, hot as fuck, and all I gotta do is:

  1. support her and be taken around the world by her

  2. have sex with her

  3. stay at home and play with the kids and toys?

Have you seen the toys kids have now? That shit is fire and a thousand times better then the shit I had as a kid.

Homey is jealous that the grind he on didn't come with a heavy dose of luck, and all he's got is a Twitter Account run by a non-sleeping, ketamine dosing nazi.

[-] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Have you watched the show Mad Men? The whole Betty Draper (January Jones) story arc shows how much that lifestyle falls apart in the long run.

What you described? Sounds like an amazing vacation for a week or two. But then as the months and years drag on, and your high-flying career spouse is never around, shit really starts to set in. That life is lonely AF!

Sure, it’s great to be with your children, take care of them, teach them and bond with them. But small children do not provide the social and mental outlet that an adult needs.

There’s a reason so many tradwives pull the ripcord after a few years. No one should ever feel like a prisoner in their own home.

[-] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 2 months ago

Did we watch the same show? I think you're ignoring the incredible amount of cheating that was occurring and how much that contributed to it all as well as that other big secret that's spoilerish.

[-] Denjin@lemmings.world 16 points 2 months ago

Plus, like, you know, it's a TV drama and not real life.

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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

I was a stay-at-home dad twice. I found it very fulfilling both times.

Maybe don't turn to fiction to figure out what reality is like?

[-] JusticeForPorygon 117 points 2 months ago

Boys, we've done it.

It is now gay to be straight.

[-] kreskin@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

last week we were told on lemmy that all men we were legally women now and were ok to get cheap drinks at ladies night. Now we are also all gay. OK I guess. So straight guys are all lesbians now?

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

So many people's porn fantasies just came true.

[-] Denjin@lemmings.world 78 points 2 months ago

He loves his kids! What a fag!

[-] Zozano@aussie.zone 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

So when he loves his kids he gets called a fag.

When I love his kids I get arrested.

The double standards are insane.

[-] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 months ago

What a cigarette?

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 68 points 2 months ago

After his wife died, Rick Moranis quit his successful Hollywood career to raise his kids.

What a total homo.

[-] Denjin@lemmings.world 15 points 2 months ago

Honey I Shrunk The Kids, So We Can All Fit In The Closet Together

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

I heard a rumor a year or so ago, that he might come back to do some passion projects, now that the kids are grown.

[-] db2@lemmy.world 48 points 2 months ago

I like how it calls out the bullshit that men can't care for their kids.

[-] codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 2 months ago

Nothing is more homosexual than being a loving, present father for the children you've created with a woman.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

"I love you, dad."

"Sorry, son. That's gay. I'm never speaking to you again."

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago

I’d let Rihanna fuck me in the ass…just saying.

[-] executivechimp@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 2 months ago

Nothing gay about being fucked by a woman.

[-] CheesyFox@lemmy.sdf.org 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Someone had't recieved enough love from his father and wants to be an asshole about it

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[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 23 points 2 months ago

There is nothing manlier than gay sex.

So having sex with women is feminine.

[-] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

Yep, heterosexual sex between a man and a women is gay as fuck, she’s literally fucking a dude which is the gayest thing you can do.

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Guys: is it gay to have sex with a woman? This is urgent I have one in bed with me right now

ETA: Doesn’t matter had sex.

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

E'rybody hetero until they need they dick sucked

[-] Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

Conservatives believe there are only 2 possible roles for a father, absent or abusive.

[-] Crikeste@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

They don’t even consider the abuse abusive. Got in an argument with some conservative dumb fuck and that idiot had the gall to say,

“My parents beat the shit out of me for doing things like that”

Like cool, dude. That really explains way more than you think lol

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

I wasn't worried about whether or not I was gay before and I'm still not worried about it. People like this seem to be very worried about whether or not they're gay. It's weird because all I need to know is that I'm not sexually attracted to men.

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[-] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 months ago

yeah i'd sub for Rihanna too

[-] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That Shadaya dude is just African Andrew Tate. Bet many African nations are going to have to deal with maladjusted manboys in the near future, like what is currently happening in the West.

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[-] tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Why is the comment about being gay, he's talking about "emasculation", so this is about masculinity, not about heteronormativity. Still, assigning your perceived masculine virtues to everyone is kinda cringe ngl, as is defining femininity as inferior.

[-] boonhet@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

I mean generally toxic masculinity comes with a healthy dose of homophobia on the side too

[-] el_bhm@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Because emasculation of men is just a dog whistle for bigots. At best. At worst it is just a euphemism.

Yes, those are two different things. For bigots they might be the same thing.

End of the day, both are just cultural war olympics for dumb masses.

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this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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