Can I be real a minute?

You probably are weird.

But plenty of people are. I'm a different kind of weird than you, but I'm pretty fucking weird by most standards.

Fuck, when you're weird, it's all about finding other weirdos and enjoying it. You may or may not be the same kind of weird as the friends you drifted from, so you might need new friends.

But the most important thing of all here. It doesn't matter if you look like sasquatch. Doesn't matter if you "pass" or not. My sasquatch looking ass respects your sasquatch looking ass.

I've never known a single trans person that didn't have a period where they felt alien, or ugly, or like a cursed crossbred ass creature. The important part is that you're doing what you need to do to be yourself fully.

I know you can't see it, but every trans person on this planet, no matter if or when or how they choose to transition, makes the world a little better than it would be without them. The rest of us need trans people. And we even need the cursed crossbred ass creatures. IDGAF if you're as ugly as the south end of a north bound bulldog, we need you. I ain't gonna blow smoke up your ass and say "oh, no, you're a lovely little flower". I don't know you, you might look like someone smashed a witch mask on the ass of a baboon.

But you ain't gotta be a delicate little flower. You just gotta be you. That's it, that's the sum total of what you owe the world. If you're a big, hairy, ugly lady, then rock the fuck on! The world would be a shittier place without you. You should meet my aunt Beverly. Cis woman, and she looks like an older, uglier version of me. But the world would suck without her, and her deer hunting, beer chugging, cow punching, retired welder ass.

You may be an annoying motherfucker in person, I have no clue. But the world would still be worse off without you. We need annoying motherfuckers to remind the rest of us that, to someone, we're annoying too.

I can't stop you from feeling what you're feeling. I can't change your mind about anything. All I can do is tell you that even if you're twice as bad as you think you are, you're also twice as good as you think you are. I know that because you're trying. You're trying to get through and be better and make your life the way you want it. Too many people don't have the balls to do that.

Please stay alive.

Somewhere someone's life is richer with you in it.

Please stay with us. I care about you, a bunch of us here seem to care about you. A better future is possible.

I initially just copied the post body into the editor to respond to it, but my phone decided to hit Send because my screen is kinda fucked, so I basically just replied with a copypasta of the post by mistake 😆. So I edited the post.

I sent you a DM with more details. My DMs are always open for a fellow depressed autistic perspective.

That sounds like a hard situation, I'm sorry you're in pain

You don't have to look a certain way to be valid as a person, or as a member of the trans community.

Try doing one nice thing for your future self. Take a walk in a park or a forest. Do some exercise. Tidy up some litttle area. Do some self-care. You just have to do one thing, not the full list. That way, tomorrow, at least someone will have been nice to you.

Failing that, perhaps do one nice thing for someone else, however minor. That will be one positive thing that happened in the universe that wouldn't have happened if you didn't exist

I have also considered maybe crashing my car at high speeds into a solid object, I drive a pruis so it would take a minute to reach 100mph if it can even get there

Have you considered writing? Because that's a funny sketch :D

I genuinely hope you may find peace and happiness

I honestly feel like I am perhaps worse than chris chan maybe.

See, this is how you know for a fact that this is your depression talking. The fact that you reflect on your weirdness already puts you in a higher league than Chris chan. There's a good chance your depression is lying to you about a lot of things.

Also not a hair expert but maybe try conditioner to soften it up then gently pull a comb or brush through small bits at a time.

You die eventually anyways, what's the rush?

Hope you give yourself enough time to get in a better place.

Hi, i just want to check up on you; are you still okay? I hope you are here with us to respond.