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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by teletext@reddthat.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

Can they rush in after the first two words, before you say "not"? Can they enter if they stuff their ears before they hear the final word?

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[-] yesman@lemmy.world 106 points 1 month ago

the preferred nomenclature is "come back with a warrant".

[-] Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago
[-] bran_buckler@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Hey, that’s an idea! A buddy cop movie, where they’re also vampires and execute warrants to get invited into the houses of the victims.

[-] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

So a documentary about America then

[-] flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

Vampires are way cooler than police imo.

Actually, that could be a fun plot point. Vampires get in with warrants, find out people hate cops, investigate why, instigate positive change in the system...

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[-] PetteriPano@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago

Don't forget that a door mat that says "welcome" counts as consent.

[-] pslightlypsycho47@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

What We Do In The Shadows reference?

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[-] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 48 points 1 month ago

No. It is magic so they would not be able to enter partway through an answer as doing so would make it clear that the vampire knew it was really a no.

[-] cdf12345@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

What’s the longest duration between may and not that would be valid in keeping them out?

[-] teletext@reddthat.com 23 points 1 month ago

At least 20 seconds if you yell "psych" afterwards.

[-] Chocrates@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

I imagine it's the intent, so it doesn't matter how long.

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[-] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago

It seems to me that the wording itself is unimportant, but rather the intention. So I would imagine no

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[-] whostosay@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago

This inspired me to keep a handheld mirror near my front door, for when someone inevitably asks if they can come in, I can grab it and do a very obvious vampire check

[-] legopika 33 points 1 month ago

I hope your can find a mirror made with silver, most modern ones aren't, and that's why vampires didn't show up in them

[-] whostosay@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago

Dude. Thank you. I would've let so many vampires in.

As much as I appreciate it though, we're poor as fuck, vampires still welcome.

[-] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 12 points 1 month ago

You can use an old silver spoon or knife as a mirror

[-] Klear@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago

Or stab a stake in their heart! If they are a vampire, they will either instantly turn to dust or at least be paralysed, so you can easily dispose of them.

Otherwise it's going to be just ordinary murder.

[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

You're mixing stuff up. Mirrors reflect souls, and since vampires don't have souls, they don't have no reflections.

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[-] hungryphrog 8 points 1 month ago

Dammit, time to hit the antique store.

[-] djsoren19@yiffit.net 26 points 1 month ago

The requirement isn't that vampires need to hear you say "You can come in," it's that you need to extend them a formal invitation and lower the barrier that protects your home. Theoretically, you could lie to the vampire, but they'd probably notice your barrier and wouldn't get fooled.

...you do have a barrier right? You properly consecrated the ground before moving, drew the sigils, and cleansed all existing evil spirits? 'Cuz otherwise, any old spooky creature will probably skip the pleasantries and just get you.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Pretty sure the realtor was supposed to handle all of that.

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[-] Tedesche@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

A lot of people here are telling you that the answer is 'no' because the vampires must respect your true intent or rely on trickery to get you to willfully invite them in.

But the real reason is 'no' because vampires aren't real.

[-] 0xb@lemm.ee 11 points 1 month ago

Sure Mr Suspiciously Pale Human, whatever you say, you still can't come in even if vampires don't exist.

[-] ech@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Answering the question necessitates engaging with the premise. Refusing to do so and acting smug just makes you look like a dick.

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[-] Computerchairgeneral@fedia.io 19 points 1 month ago

No, vampires usually leave that sort of "exact words" trickery to faeries and genies.

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[-] VerilyFemme 16 points 1 month ago

Imagining a vampire showing up to Wayne and Garth's studio.

"You may come in...... NOT!"

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[-] SkyNTP@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago

I think it's safe to say that intent is what matters, not the technicality of communicating that intent. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intention

[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 month ago

"You mayn't."

[-] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 month ago

this is why you start the sentence with "no, you may not".

a lot of humans do that, too. cut you off early and pretend they didn't hear the second part, stuff like that. happened to me a lot. caused me to rearrange word-order a lot.

[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 15 points 1 month ago

I would say, no, because the same magic rule prompting the vampire to ask permission in the first place also requires the answer to be complete. Otherwise, why bother? They would dart inside even before you had a chance to say "you" with the excuse that since you were taking too long you probably were okay with it.

[-] vaguerant@fedia.io 10 points 1 month ago

I wonder if the magic rule understands double negatives. If you tell a vampire "You ain't never coming in here," can they enter? What about sarcasm? "Oh yeah, I'm definitely inviting you in."

[-] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I suppose it depends on if you can write a fun story around either one. Since every rule about vampires that sticks basically only has one thing in common, the writing in which it was featured was popular. If what you write around it isn't very good, then no, I guess retroactively that isn't how vampires work. But if it becomes popular and part of peoples canon in the future, then yes, that is exactly how vampires work, now.

[-] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago

I just realized that I'd be pretty safe from vampire infestations. I hate having visitors, and will make (up) any excuse to avoid them. "Sure, but I was about to leave to deal with a work-related emergency. I don't know when I'll be home."
...and then they can sit there alone until I see them leaving on my door camera.

I don't mind visiting others, because then I can leave when I'm spent. At home, however, it's where I expect to be left alone.

[-] m4xie 15 points 1 month ago

You said "sure", you're done!

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[-] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 13 points 1 month ago

Depends, is this vampire known as Brock Turner?

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[-] wabafee@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

They don't need to they just evict you instead.

[-] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 10 points 1 month ago

A vampire mesmerizing a victim into allowing entry always felt like cheating to me

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[-] FrozenTrout@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

If you live alone and vampire shows up at your door with a gun and shoots you dead, could it then enter the house

[-] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 month ago

Yes but then it has to water my plants weekly forever.

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Thats why you summon Abraham Lincoln, the Vampire Hunter

[-] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 9 points 1 month ago

i guess not.

hollywood says vampires have to sparkly shine first.

some vamp lore says it is your invitation that counts and not the permission part.

some cultures need visitors to declare themselves human when knocking at your door.

[-] superkret@feddit.org 9 points 1 month ago

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A human.
A human who?
A humangous 8 storey tall crustacean from the protozoic era.

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[-] jordanlund@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

They're fast, faster than you can imagine, don't look away and don't blink. Blink and you're dead.

[-] watson387@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 month ago
[-] teletext@reddthat.com 12 points 1 month ago

That's quite impolite, isn't it?

[-] Please_Do_Not@lemm.ee 16 points 1 month ago

"Vell, you didn't have to be rude about it."

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[-] isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 month ago
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[-] pixeltree 7 points 1 month ago

I'm sure it varies by setting but my head canon is it's about intent. They don't need to be granted permission explicitly, they just need you to explicitly want them to enter.

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this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
155 points (100.0% liked)

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