Lol I can't believe this is real. How terrible must food be in your city for this to be successful? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoona-style_pizza
While originally topped with Velveeta, Altoona-style pizza is popularly topped with yellow processed cheese known as American cheese. The yellow squares of American cheese are a staple of this dish, used instead of the mozzarella or provolone common to other styles of pizza.
Everything about that paragraph makes me feel ill.
Following the destruction of the hotel in 2013 by fire, other local restaurants began serving Altoona-style pizza
It could have died there, but they had to do this
This made me discover Velveeta. I wish I hadn't.
Do not make the fudge recipe. Trust me.
I am sorry? There's a Velveeta fudge recipe!
Just the thought it is alone 🤮
It's from the 1980s iirc. I made it once which is one time more than it should have existed at all. It literally tastes like chocolatey barf.
I do find it comical that Americans call processed cheese “American”
It's telling for sure.
Fixed that for Wikipedia:
Fun fact, you can trigger Wikipedia editors by changing the page in developer console and posting a screenshot of it, they'll scramble to revert a change that doesn't exist.
The most successful businesses in Altoona when I lived there in the early 2010s were drug rehabilitation centers. All the factories closed, and the town is slowly dying.
American cheese on pizza? that's the kind of thing I would do if I'm down to the last two items in the kitchen, and feel too lazy to go shopping, but still would hate it
That's the type of thing you make if you have nothing else in the fridge and you can't go out to get anything else. And you'd keep that shit quiet and never admit to it to anyone.
Like Kenji's smash burgers, "held together with hope and American Cheese"
cook with it? yeah
call it pizza? nope
This is a fucking culinary crime.
there's no excuse for making a bad pizza. It's pizza, it's very hard to do it wrong
Yeah like, just don't call it a pizza and we're good. Call it an "Altooner" or whatever, but don't soil the good reputation of pizza with whatever this creation is.
Altoona melt
Misc toppings on bread dough with some kind of cheese is probably thousands of years old.
I mean to be clear I'm from altoona and I've never seen pizza like this.
Y'all better be careful or you're going to fall down a rabithold of locally celebrated yet disgusting pizza in PA. It's like a whole thing there.
I knew PA was evil, but I never knew just how horrible.
I am biased being from NJ, but these pizzas vindicate me!
I mean, sandwich bread, tomato sauce, ham and cheese on top, it's not a pizza, it's a microwaved 3am sandwich
Not cheese. Kraft fucking singles
Kraft singles are still cheese. They've just been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate.
That actually makes them super useful in making a cheese sauce.
Add a few slices to a queso and it will not break.
You fat. Smooth cheesey sauce that comes out perfect every time.
You can make sodium citrate with lemon juice and baking soda. Lime juice also works. Really any citric acid.
Anyway, you don't need much to make cheese melt smoothly.
Kraft singles are still cheese. They've just been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate.
No, if it was just cheese that's been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate it would be pasteurized process cheese. A couple other additional additives are acceptable.
When it has other additives but is at least half cheese by weight it's pasteurized process cheese food.
When it's pasteurized process cheese product it's not meeting any of those standards. Often because it's less than half cheese or an addictive outside the accepted list to meet the other definitions is being used. Milk protein concentrate is an example, but also increasing the fat content with something like vegetable oil or adding flavoring agents to make the result taste more like cheese.
The FDA caught Kraft singles not meeting the definition of pasteurized process cheese food something like 20 years ago which is why it's labeled a pasteurized process cheese product.
For any curious, the sodium citrate is an emulsifying agents that helps the natural cheeses used melt together smoothly, and pasteurization was originally done to prolong the life of the resultant mixed cheese as the whole original point of American cheese was to reprocess ends and scraps into something homogeneous and comparatively safe for long distance overland transport before refrigerated trucks were a thing.
Is this town filled with broke stoners or something?
Broke stoners in rural Pennsylvania? Say it ain't so!
Dunno about this particular area of PA, but the areas I am familiar with... the answer is meth.
Hello? I would like to report a crime against humanity.
Are those fucken Kraft singles? That's deplorable and I am disgusted beyond the spiritual realm.
Yeah, it's not a great town
I'm Austrian and I feel betrayed
Honestly this doesn't sound like it would taste all that bad. Thick crust, tomato sauce, green bell pepper, fried salami, and Velveeta cheese? That's gonna be pretty tasty. Calling it pizza might be the biggest issue, maybe something like open faced pepper sandwich would be better.
Calling Velveeta "cheese" is pretty bad
Urgh, here in Canada they tried to trick us with "delux" kraft dinner. Velveeta is so bad that I avoid name brand KD to this day due to one time over a decade ago. How in the artificial fuck do americans eat that stuff?
Stop
I’d hork down a barrel of sketchy dicks before I’d let this abomination inside of me.
Would you like a stroke?
Say what?
Would you like a pizza with a side of stroke hun?
Nah, but can I get it will a double pounder heart attack? And a side of diarrhea? I'm trying to keep my height to weight ratio.
Mayon-egg
Post memes here.
A meme is an idea, behavior, or style that spreads by means of imitation from person to person within a culture and often carries symbolic meaning representing a particular phenomenon or theme.
An Internet meme or meme, is a cultural item that is spread via the Internet, often through social media platforms. The name is by the concept of memes proposed by Richard Dawkins in 1972. Internet memes can take various forms, such as images, videos, GIFs, and various other viral sensations.
Laittakaa meemejä tänne.
