Lemmy is a worse platform for women than Reddit was EDIT this link is an OLD POST that contains my thesis on the state of lemmy and is not the context of the much more recent comment in the screenshot. sorry for any confusion caused by this juxtaposition, my main goal with having this linked is to expose how nothing has improved
Oh, and since the exact people your post is about simply can't help themselves and are already pouring in to mansplain and make excuses for themselves, the obligatory:
I post some feminist shit, or at least critiques of men, and the comments are as expected.
Every.
Fucking.
Time.
And if I know the post you mean, it reminds me a lot of that gillette ad from a couple of years back, basically telling men they can do better, for each other if nothing else, and they came out in droves to shout that actually, they really fucking can't.
Patriarchy and the privilege it grants are one hell of a drug..
I cannot imagine being so insecure with your manness that you feel the need to protest a razor commercial asking you to be a better dude.
I've been afflicted with Manhood my whole life. And razor ads asking me to be better doesn't threaten me. In fact, they're right, I can be a better man. I should go do the dishes; just after I feel better. This debilitating minor cold is getting me real down.
I remember that commercial.
and they came out in droves to shout that actually, they really fucking can't.
Lmao. Gotta keep that bar low so people don't expect anything from us. It's surprisingly easy being a shitbag of a human; all you need is a lack of conscience
It’s surprisingly easy being a shitbag of a human; all you need is a lack of conscience
And it's surprisingly easy not to be, too - learn that sometimes it's ok, if not preferable, to shut the fuck up and listen to people taking bout their experience, without making it about you (generic you, obviously not you, Shovel). But when the world and society generally cater to you, and you've been socialised with those levels of entitlement, that thought never even crosses their minds..
"Not all men, but definitely this fucking guy," moment
In keeping with the theme of OP - a few weeks ago, on a post about that horrific case in France where the man got dozens of strangers to rape his wife, a good 70% of replies were some variation on "not all men", and I posted this meme in reply to one of them, and my reply got removed for breaking the rules (not being civil!), but not a single one of theirs was. This was on one of the main news communities on this site. I blocked it after that, and all the other communities the mods mod. Fuck that noise.
It's fucking awful. I feel guilty for not pushing back harder when the "not all men" crowd shows up, especially in the community I mod. I've been giving them too much benefit of the doubt in an attempt to not ruin the vibes. I won't make that mistake again.
OOP was downvoted for a non-sequitur on top of a strawman.
When their original argument was refuted they posted what OP posted above as if it was a relevant comeback.
OP is a malignant poster leaving out context.
~~link, please?~~ Edit: found it.
Seems like pretty typical self-centred reply-guy behaviour, then all the men downvoting got annoyed because the person fighting on behalf of women in this interaction refused to entertain the implication that men are owed sex by women
Nobody said women owed anything. They are saying that collectively punishing men for things they did not do is a fast track to creating more incels.
Hello, thanks for your reply, I appreciate that we can have a civil conversation about a topic that can be quite heated. I’m a man, so I definitely can’t speak for women, but I try my best to listen, and I can try to pass on what I’ve learned!
You’re totally right that nobody in the screenshot wrote the words “men are owed sex by women”, but if you’ll give me the benefit of the doubt, I think there’s something a little deeper at play here, and I think it really depends on your perspective.
Rather than explain it directly, it might be easier to use an example - let’s say that you have a friend who you don’t want to have sex with. If that friend is really nice to you, and you don’t have sex with them, are you punishing them?
If that friend said something like, “You know, if you don’t have sex with us, we might become more violent and dangerous…” how do you think that would make you feel?
Personally, I would feel a bit scared by that sort of statement - I feel that it’s coercive, and it has a kind of veiled threat of violence there that makes me uncomfortable.
I hope that helps explain why some people might read the message differently from how you read it.
Ugh.
I just wish misogynistic comments/voice logs could be taped to abusers' foreheads.
the sick part is there isn’t even profit to be had here on lemmy :( so it’s all for nothing and i guess since fedi is modeled after for-profit platforms the same patterns play out
Seeing the state if discourse in the B4 movement threads makes it so obvious that the present community on lemmy is wildly sexist and misogynistic. Like how egotistical and selfish do you have to be to see a movement that is a rational response to women having their bodily autonomy taken away from them in real time, and interpret that situation in a way where you perceive it as a threat to your personal chances of getting laid?
You could be seeing this movement and choosing to recognize that it is coming from a place of justified fear, anger, and suffering of women all over the country, and decide, "This situation is wrong, we need to fight this." It's not hard. Just be an ally.
chad ✅: wow this is insane behavior to see as a man but i understand that women would not be doing this unless the situation was really dire. i am open to listening first and will keep my knee jerk judgements private at least at first.
virgin ❌: wow this is insane behavior to see as a man, and this kind of shit is literally why you women experience sexism in the first place. actions (self preservation and solidarity) have consequences (sexism and radicalization). don’t mind me as i fill this entire thread about women asking to be heard with my hot takes on the situation 🤓☝️
No, seriously, that movement is not justified at all. It's full of transphobia, homophobia, and on top of all this racism expected from Korea of course. They harassed trans people going to women's university, death threat included of course, and also harasses any trans individuals appearing on timeline via QRT/Reply/etc. You should think about this when you talk about that movement.
Some good reads (though on twitter sadly): https://x.com/codud066/status/1855670602985873464 https://x.com/muntamor/status/1855683991262908714
EDIT: The last part was a bit rude, so toned it down a bit. Anyways, as trans individual living in Korea unfortunately, I do feel very unsafe (and had a panic attack) by those kinds of people.
i totally hear your concerns, it’s sort of a weird situation because the name is being adopted from an entirely different cultural context by people who might have just heard about it this week
i will say that all the genuine circles i have seen expressing interest in 4b have done their research and are outspoken about rejecting transphobia and only retaining the good parts in their practice, so that’s heartening :)
That's hopeful to hear. The concept of the movement itself is decent, so I hope those don't go the way of TERF like here in Korea.
How is that getting downvoted? What community is that? Dumb as fuck.
I'm suspicious. I'd like to know other comments that person has made. They might be a troll and that comment has nothing to do with the topic it's in.
Also, good work Google AI. /s
edit: yeah, I can't find the source of that comment.
Putting the Nazi in Grammar Nazi?
So are bears back on the menu?
They never went away according to my Grindr feed.
wtf
i straight up blocked lemmy.world after the “strange man or a bear” thing blew up, and i realized LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE arguing in favor of the man were all coincidentally on that instance.
honestly very incel-y
An interesting variation on this I've heard that I think illustrates why it's so inflammatory (and thus my issue with it even if I agree fully with what it's saying) is changing it to whether you'd feel more comfortable with a Christian or Muslim at night in the woods.
Like I used to be racist against Russians because I'm Russian originally and I've tons of lived experience around Russians and I would sooner pick just about any other nationality before Russians to be around, I'm justified in this just as I'm justified in feeling that way about men, but at the same time, it's no less inflammatory to say.
It's all just ragebait. That's why unlike many nuanced feminist arguments or discussions about male violence you've actually heard of it and see it on the internet, it generates engagement. Doesn't excuse the harassment, but it explains it. Is it really so productive to get worked up all the time?
There are too many people on the Internet (and likely also generally the world) who don't know how successful sex strikes have historically been, and it shows.
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
