Sometimes there's a real humdinger of a comment, like a real 
that I'd like to reply to, but I find that it only shows up on lemmy.ml and not here. Is that expected behaviour?
it means the user is on an instance that doesn't federate with us.
oh, of course.
damn 
This is why lemmy.nazi refused to federate, to prevent the precious dunks
Well you brigade all the other instances, so while I hate those fascist shitheads I certainly understand why they don't want anything to do with this awful, bot-filled instance.
I'm not sure why you think I give a shit about your thoughts or opinions?
They are currently being dunked on in another thread, and they dont like it.
In addition to potential bans or defeds, it is also possible for a backlog to develop in the incoming / outgoing message queues. I had this happen on matapacos once and at its worst, all incoming messages were delayed by about 16 hours. I have noticed on Lemmy when you subscribe to a remote community for the first time (out of anybody on your instance) it takes a few minutes for all the comments to fill in, even after the post listing is visible.
A community to talk about the Fediverse and all it’s related services using ActivityPub (Mastodon, Lemmy, KBin, etc).
This is not the place to gossip about other instances.