I am autistic, and honestly OP, I feel very similar. But based on the comments, I'm starting to think that we're both narcissists haha

I have this particular issue with a house mate who is self-obsessed and wants to do nothing but brag about his charisma and intelligence to anyone who dares come downstairs for a split second. He'll go on for hours, and re-tell everything if someone else comes in. He kind of caricature-ises this whole experience for me. He has trapped me in a convo for so long that I've had evening plans ruined, even after telling him multiple times that I've got to go. No point pretending with him, you literally have to just ignore his existence and leave. Grim.

With friends and family? It depends.

For friends, I care if they're very close (1 of a handful of people), not because of the topic itself. What I'm really listening out for is how they have been affected by the experience.

For more distant friends, acquaintances, colleagues... generally no.

Yes. It's called empathy.

You may not have a vested interest in the particular story, but the very act of someone that you care about (presumably) being excited about something should at least bring some sort of good feeling to you. When people I care about are enjoying something, it makes me happy. So while their kid pictures, or vacation pictures or whatever might not be interesting to me, the fact that they care enough about me to want to SHOW them to me, should give you a warm feeling.

That being said, no...I'm not going to dunk for not feeling that. It's different from person to person certainly; and I (and here I'm going to revert to my "old man yells at clouds" mode) feel like modern friendships are just different. We are suddenly in an age where having a few close friends has been replaced with having a tonne of "shallow" friends that you meet online. They're still "friends", but beyond texting and playing together online, you never see each other, never get closer than that. And certainly it would be a different feeling entirely. But the cadre of close friends that I made while working at Sears in 1998, and who I still talk to almost every day and see regularly, of COURSE I'm going to care.

Absolutely I care, and I want all of the details and pictures. It brings me great joy to see my homies living exciting lives, and I'm thankful to be part of that. With children, especially - they feel like nieces and nephews and I am inherently invested in their wellbeing and success, even for long-distance friendships in which I've never met the kiddos.

I don't have any family of my own, so my Will and estate is divided amongst my friends, and those with kids are allotted a bigger piece of the pie so they can put it towards their college or whatever when I die.

Even if you don't care, it's probably a good idea to at least pay attention to the announcement of a new baby, because this is a new person, who will be a significant influence on their life and may have some impact on your own. Later on, it's considered polite to at least ask "and how's (name of spouse) and (name of child or children, or you can say "the kids"). One isn't expected to remember every detail, but at least acknowledge they exist.

Sure, I was always interested to see where everyone was traveling. That's what I had Facebook for until it turned to shit.

I don't have to hear anything about babies though.

I care about my friends. I care about their goals, concerns, trials, joys, and more. I listen and I dig deeper. If I don't care about what they did, I ask questions that reveal how it made them feel.

Now that's a lot of emotional labor, but for a select few confidants, I am more than happy to that work. It bonds us and makes each other feel seen and connected.

Depends how close i am to them. If it's a passive acquaintance I'm like, happy for them but in a fleeting sort of way?

I do care. It makes them happy, I want them to be happy, so transitively, yes.

I like when people tell me about good things they had, awesome stuff they experienced etc etc because for me their happiness and enthusiasm is contagious. If my friends are happy and sharing it with me, my mood also goes up. Maybe it's because hearing about good things gets your brain into thinking/remembering good things, or maybe it's just good to see your friends in high spirits and enthusiastic about something, I do not know.

But as the old saying goes, shared joy is a doubled joy, shared sorrow is a halfed sorrow

That culture-wide, near impossible to appeal level of stuff you must care about or be an asshole is just the worst. You really lose something critical when you pretend, and everybody seems to be in a conspiracy to bust your hump if you don't play along.

Depends on the event. I dont care for babies, but I'm happy for them if they go on a nice vacation and I might consider their destination for myself if they recommend it.

It depends. Mostly I care, a new baby is a big deal, I think about how it will affect them, what the child might be like, the fact that I will probably still be spending time with that child in ten years.

Holidays I care if they're interesting. If someone goes somewhere I've always wanted to go I might have questions, if they've been somewhere I've been I might chat about what I liked. But when people try to tell you a detailed recount of some trip, it can be very boring. My parents are particularly bad at reminiscing together while notionally telling me, so they keep going "where was it we ate the second day? No that was the other place" it's awful. But it's a chance for them to feel happy about their holiday again, so I try to be patient, and I remember how many times my parents pretended to be interested as I explained how I was doing at some computer game or whatever.

But to answer your question, it sounds like you care less than most. But everyone cares less than the people who's life event it is. There's lots of scenes in comedies about people hating hearing about new babies, or being forced to look at holiday photos. So you're not alone!

Babies and children, no. I mainly care if those kids are sick as children being sick affect the well-being of who I'm talking to.

I like to discuss vacations and I'll usually ask more in depth questions about travel since I like to travel.

That said, there is usually something beneficial to social cohesion where you care enough about people that you more than just name and role. I've found that it is generally a lot more miserable to work in an environment where everyone is a cog in a machine.

Yes I do care.

I don’t care about literally everything. But I do about most of it and love seeing it.

I'm also fascinated to know this

I find it interesting to hear about, was just talking to a somewhat stranger about his holiday today.

Kids? Not really. But if I didn't care about stuff in their life then I don't think we're really friends.

I do care about the life of my friends. I'm autistic too. I love to hear their stories. Although there are some which I do not care about. Like their kids. I don't like them, I don't want to see pictures, I couldn't care less about whatever dumb, funny or smart thing they did. And I tell them. "Hey dude, nice you have a kid but it's not for me." same goes for football or formula 1. You can talk to me about it, but I'll just be thinking about fun stuff and won't hear a thing you said.

I prefer to talk to people and hear their stories when it's something I'm interested in. It generally helps to ask about those things, stimulating them to talk about something you actually like. But sometimes people just need to vent stuff and it's good to listen, even though it doesn't really interest you. But giving them a moment for it makes them feel good. But instead of acting like you like it so they will continue to talk about it, after giving them their moment for a bit, change the subject to something you like. At least that works for me. And now my friends know what I'm interested in, and likewise, so we know what we can talk about and do so neither of us gets bored.

For instance, some like to squash. I don't. Some also like to play boardgames, like me. They don't ask me to join them for squash, but they do ask me to play a boardgame. Some of my friends talk about football but they know I hate it so they talk about world domination to me instead (/jk).

If you have no common ground with someone, I don't understand how you can be friends. Everything in the relationship you have with someone would be fake. But if there is common ground, you should focus on that and be honest about what that is for you. Friends become better friends when they know the real you and accept you for who you are. If not, they are bad friends.

I definately care some, although not enough that I want to sit through a photo slideshow or that. That said, if its just daily photos to a family group chat, or listening to them talk about a particular trip highlight, then I certainly enjoy it.

Trust me, parents know that not everyone cares about babies. But those who do sometimes care a LOT. My parents live hundreds of miles away from their grandchildren and love to see even small updates about them. Same with many cousins, aunties, and faraway friends. I don’t need you to be interested. I understand if you are not. What I don’t understand is why we can’t just coexist on this. Every so often I need to listen to a post like this declaring how much you don’t care about babies and kids. Does this make you feel better or something? Everyone was a baby once. Everyone had a parent. Can we just allow that this is a normal part of life and not some bizarre niche interest that’s getting shoved in your face out of the blue? Damn. /rant

I usually like to hear about people's travels to xyz. I find it less interesting to know about who had a baby, who's engaged with whom etc. but baby pictures are kinda cute. Usually though the purpose of hearing people talk about therir trip is to tell another mutual friend/family member that "person abc went to country xyz" or "had a baby with xyz". But sometimes you wonder how it would be like to visit that country yourself, or if you have been then how their trip compared to yours, so hearing stories from people you know are good insights.

It can drag on after a while, so when some anecdote goes on too long I try to fast forward towards the end of the trip, ask more about the trip that I want to hear about, or ask "did you bring anything back?" As the last question before changing the subject.

I like telling anyone who's interested about train stuff, and I'll share my travels in conversation, but I try to limit it to showing one or two pictures/videos off my phone and just the highlights in a few sentences.

Depends a lot on the details and execution.

Some friends can tell a good story about having a beer anywhere. Other folks would make meeting (some well liked celebrity) tedious.

I'm a little too deep into the "I had an onion on my belt" side of things, so I try to be patient with other people's meanderings.

If i have somewhere else to be or am short on time, then yea, i cant wait for them to finish telling me whatever they are telling me. Otherwise i can usually challange them with some questions or Insights, to create a two way conversation. Sure, if the person is someone i dont know well, ill usually not ask questions, and i am indeed not interested.

It gets easier to ask relevant questions when you have some experience in those things.

Regarding vacations, I like to ask about the nature of sights in the area. I'm not interested in what food was in the buffet or how many pools were at the hotel, but I would like to know if the area has anything of interest.

For people having babies, I like to ask questions about how they're going to handle it, just to check if they are on top of the situation or if they need help with anything.