Ad Read here! I got really bored after work. Figured I'd make something like the Oops All Moopsy's and the Tribbles n Bits commercials I made a while back.
Space. The final frontier. But let’s face it – it’s also the final debate chamber. From the Council chambers of the Federation to the back rooms of Romulus, if you thought your adventures in the stars were all about discovering strange new worlds, think again. They’ve always been about one thing…
[Dramatic pause]
Politics!
That’s right, introducing Oops! All Politics! – the breakfast cereal that finally tells it like it is. You weren’t just boldly going where no one’s gone before – you were negotiating trade agreements, dealing with interstellar immigration, and managing ethical dilemmas every step of the way. And now, that same tangled mess of diplomacy is available in a balanced, part-of-a-nutritious-breakfast form.
Take a bite and dive into the age-old complexities of Romulan refugee crises – remember that whole thing with the Romulan supernova? Now you can chew through it, one bite at a time! Or maybe you'd prefer a spoonful of Federation-Klingon relations – because what’s breakfast without a side of ritualistic combat followed by tense ceasefire talks?
But we don’t stop there – Oops! All Politics! is packed with real, Starfleet-endorsed moral quandaries! Will you side with the Maquis or the Federation? Can the Prime Directive really handle this kind of breakfast? It’s all in there. And every crunch is a new ethical conundrum. Each bite is one step closer to solving the galaxy’s biggest questions – or just rehashing them endlessly like your favorite season arc. Need something with even more bite? How about the Borg reparations clause? Or the thorny, ever-present struggle of AI rights? If it’s divisive, controversial, and guaranteed to spark a heated debate at your breakfast table, we’ve crammed it into this cereal box!
Now, we know what you’re thinking: 'But Starfleet was about exploration! Discovery! Pushing the boundaries of space, not politics!' Well, let’s not kid ourselves – every decision to chart a new course came with a debate in the ready room. Every first contact was followed by a long, politically charged discussion with a council, a tribunal, or at least a conference call back to Earth. You might’ve been watching for the phasers, but Captain Picard? He’s always been about the hard choices – in and out of the captain’s chair.
Picard: "Starfleet was never about avoiding tough choices. It's always been about facing them. With a spoon!"
And if that doesn't sum up the nature of exploration, here's a final thought from Captain Picard to carry you through your morning routine:
Picard: "The pursuit of knowledge, justice, and equality has never been simple, but neither has breakfast!"
You heard the man! Oops! All Politics! – the only cereal that doesn’t just fuel your body, it gets your brain racing with endless possibilities of galactic governance! And for those who need their mornings with a bit more time-travel-induced headache, we’ve sprinkled in just a dash of temporal prime directive violations. Perfect for those mornings when you just need to re-evaluate causality over your tea, or more likely, coffee.
And let’s be honest – it’s not just about what’s in your bowl. It’s about the bigger picture. Why isn’t that replicator unionized? Are the Ferengi getting fair trade deals on cereal exports? Who’s setting the price on Mini Moopsie Bites or these dilithium-flavored marshmallows, and is it even ethical?! So, if you’re ready to start your day with the kind of discussions that used to be reserved for stuffy admirals and rogue captains, pour yourself a big ol' bowl of Oops! All Politics! – because, deep down, you’ve always known… it’s never been just about the exploration. It’s always been about the politics. And now, it’s breakfast too.
Warning: Oops! All Politics! may cause extreme discomfort for anyone who thinks that Star Trek was just about lasers and space ships. Side effects include critical thinking, sudden realizations about systemic issues, and the uncomfortable awareness that your favorite episodes always had something to say. If you suffer from the belief that the Federation wasn't always striving for a better, more just galaxy, consult a new viewing of Deep Space Nine immediately. Results may vary based on personal capacity for empathy and logic. Ask yourself: 'Was Starfleet ever not woke?' If the answer is no, congratulations – you’re ready for the truth.
Oops! All Politics! – available wherever your replicator will acknowledge its duty to your morning routine. And don’t forget, that’s a replicator with full labor rights, naturally.
Picard: "In the end, it’s not just politics... it’s a balanced part of your day. And trust me, nothing pairs better with a hot earl gray than a good ethical debate."
