220
submitted 3 months ago by Don_Dickle@lemmy.world to c/til@lemmy.world
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[-] Wilshire@lemmy.world 145 points 3 months ago
[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 95 points 3 months ago

It's not just amateur nography, it's professional nography.

[-] Fester@lemm.ee 29 points 3 months ago
[-] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

But slower than chronography.

[-] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 6 points 3 months ago

Probe to be about bone?

[-] addictedtochaos@lemm.ee 64 points 3 months ago

you should all shut up, since that person was right about britney all allong, albeit he or she kinda messed up the execution.

i feel bad for th eharrasment he or she faced.

[-] Delphia@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago

Are you saying we should "Leave Cara Alone!!!"

[-] addictedtochaos@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago

no, i said:

"you should all shut up...blabla. ".

[-] delirious_owl@discuss.online 10 points 3 months ago

What was wrong about the execution? Shit went viral. Seems pretty perfect

[-] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

It was viral but not likely in a "good" or "nice" way, it was honestly hilarious, my take at the time was, bruh why do you care so much that you're literally having a breakdown about people talking shit about a celebrity.

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[-] Blaze@sopuli.xyz 58 points 3 months ago

Please don't deadname people

[-] Flatfire@lemmy.ca 198 points 3 months ago

It's a bit difficult in a case like this, as it does add context and acknowledges their new identity so as to link what was a well known video to an existing person. I'd struggle to know who this was otherwise. I don't think there's any malintent here.

[-] Chozo@fedia.io 97 points 3 months ago

I think the preferred way to arrange the headline would have been "TIL Cara Cunningham, formerly known as Chris Cocker..." The way it's currently worded implies that "Chris Cocker" is their current and/or valid name. I'm sure that wasn't OP's intent at all and they were just leading with the more widely-recognized name, but I can also see where Blaze is coming from.

[-] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 37 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Here, naming the well-known person first helps clarify (though I’ve never heard of either).

[-] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 months ago

Except they aren't particularly well known. I am not even sure how many people even remember "Leave Britney alone" anymore. Let alone the name of the person who was in the video (if they ever knew). If you were to look up whatever Scumbag Steve's legal name was, I would stare at you and be confused. If you say "Scumbag Steve" I instantly remember that picture.

So, in this case, "Cara Cunningham went into pornography after her viral Leave Britney Alone" video would be the non-transphobic version of that headline. It conveys all the information required.


A good example is Elliot Page where things get murky and there often is a need to acknowledge he transitioned because, otherwise, it makes portrayals like Juno and Shadowcat and the like confusing. So the common phrase I hear, when it is relevant, is "Elliot Page, in work prior to his transition, portrayed a teenager who made the mistake of letting Michael Cera stick it in her..."

But here? It adds nothing.

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[-] EldritchFeminity 9 points 3 months ago

Does it add any useful context, though? I don't know either name but I do remember the "Leave Britney alone" video being a thing (and the fact that the person in the video turned out to be right all along when the truth about Britney's situation came out years later), so the added context that she's trans and what her dead name was is meaningless to me other than to say, "She used to be a man. She's a woman now, but she was a man before. Did you know that? That she was once a man? Because she was. Here's what her name was."

As a trans woman, whose safety is so dependent on being able to go stealth in society, if I found out people were going around talking about me like this, I'd take a rusty icepick and make sure that they never think in words ever again. Lack of malicious intent doesn't mean that no harm was caused. Your threat index is not universal.

This could have very easily been left at "Trans woman X got into porn after her viral video Y" and there would be all the context needed to figure out who they were and what video they were in without using their dead name. Hell, you probably wouldn't even have to point out that she's trans for people to figure it out. Cis people treat the privacy of trans people the same way that the paparazzi treats the privacy of celebrities.

[-] Trashcan@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago

Wtf? You think a rusty icepick is a valid response if someone calls you by wrong name and gender? Y'all need Jesus or some shit like that. Damn...

[-] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

A lobotomy with a rusty ice pick, at that. I don't know of any situation in which torture could ever be conceived by anyone as an appropriate response, yet here we are

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[-] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 16 points 3 months ago

if I found out people were going around talking about me like this, I’d take a rusty icepick and make sure that they never think in words ever again.

That seems like a perfectly appropriate reaction.

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[-] dogslayeggs@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

So your response to feeling possibly in danger by someone calling you by the wrong name is to murder them? That's totally normal and not at all unhinged.

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[-] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 100 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It's completely fine to deadname people in the case that you're telling someone that a trans person goes by a new name. Otherwise you're playing "Guess who's trans!" for a painfully awkward five minutes while they list anecdotes about people that you weren't actually present to witness.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 39 points 3 months ago

Otherwise you’re playing “Guess who’s trans!”

I'm just imagining the classic Hasbro game Guess Who except it's the most fucked up version there is.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Vibes based guess who is actually a blast.

[-] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 6 points 3 months ago

I will second this. So much fun trying to figure out, "Are they a man child?" or "High school teacher who is burnt out from teaching?" or "Would you want to run into this person in a dark alleyway?"

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[-] EldritchFeminity 8 points 3 months ago

Except that's not at all what's happening here. We're not talking about somebody we know personally with their permission or anything, we're talking about an actress who got into pornography after having an emotional video go viral many years ago. Her dead name has nothing to do with that, and if you had even left out the fact that she's trans, most people probably could've figured it out if they even bothered to go check out the original video. Abd if they didn't? It wouldn't make a difference in their knowledge of the subject. They'd still know that a woman who had an emotional video go viral years ago later became a porn actress. All her dead name adds to this is a possibly paparazzi style invasion of her privacy.

[-] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 months ago

This thread is already "guess who's trans" and is the definition of deadnaming.

[-] ABCDE@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago

No it isn't, because her old name is in the title. That is not what deadnaming is.

[-] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Well yes, that's why I referred to it as deadnaming. This is the one circumstance where its reasonable to do. Otherwise it leads to unwittingly deadnaming someone to others (or god forbid, to their face).

[-] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 months ago

The one circumstance where it is okay is when you want to deadname someone?

The only interesting fact here is that someone transitioned into who they actually are.

[-] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Alright, there's no way we're actually opposed people here. How do you tell others that someone has transitioned?

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[-] ABCDE@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago

That's not what deadnaming is.

[-] tabarnaski@sh.itjust.works 25 points 3 months ago

Deadnaming her would be calling her "Chris Cocker" and ignoring her new name. They are just saying what her identity was before she became Cara Cunningham. Makes it easier to understand the story.

[-] catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 months ago
[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 9 points 3 months ago

She is, isn't she?

[-] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It's funny how it seems totally acceptable to be a complete asshole towards other people, especially on social media, but we're somehow supposed to accept deadnaming as being off the limits.

[-] sneezycat@sopuli.xyz 10 points 3 months ago

Is it acceptable? In 4chan maybe

[-] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 11 points 3 months ago

It's a daily occurance on Lemmy as well. It just flies under the radar because for the most part it's directed at people we don't like to begin with.

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[-] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Her name was already perfect for it

[-] CptEnder@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago

Damn after all the legal cases, Cara was right!!! We should've listened! I remember thinking, holy shit yeah leave Brittney alone!

[-] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 24 points 3 months ago

I hope she's doing well now.

[-] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago

She looks good glad for her and after reading Britney Spears book. Yes we all owe her a apology.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

That tracks and it’s really a shame how people treated her

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[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

You must have JUST watched timeline 2001, got reminded he existed, did research, and then found out he is now a she.

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this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
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