Iโm going to the snow at the end of the month and have been messaging a friend I let borrow my ski clothes and equipment two years ago. They just never gave me back my stuff and I forgot about it to now. Iโm a bit annoyed they just kept my things, and now my goggles are missing and I donโt remember if I let them borrow. It shouldnโt be up to me to remember and ask for my stuff back, you should give it back once you are done with it without prompt.
yay, chair cushions are done and I can now tidy up and move onto to other tasks, like sanding and painting ๐
The end is nigh
Bring back bags of lollies from the milk barโฆ ๐ญ
1c fizzos.
I am having such a shitty fucking day. I've honestly never felt this bad so fast before. Just massively angry, wanting to lash out over everything.
Everything is getting worse and none of us are stopping it(I'm certainly not). My attempts to maybe improve things for myself just add more stress and inevitably fail. I feel like I'm trying to climb a styrofoam wall. I can grab at chunks to try and pull myself up, but all I'm doing is fucking up an already shitty wall.
Hugs. If you can roll yourself up somewhere in the sun I recommend it. You aren't alone in your feelings.
I read On The Beach a few years ago after the 2020 bushfires and at the start of COVID when I was feeling particularly hopeless. Basically its a classic about an impending nuclear winter - what happens when everyone find out they have six months to live. One of the side characters just carried on tending their little garden, planting out things that they would never harvest and in all probability would never grow. But it was her job - to tend her garden and she figured no-one knew any would be next so she might as well do this thing. She was totally at peace. I think about her a lot when I am in this headspace.
There are green places to be in the sun nearish me, but too far to walk, and I don't want to be around other people much so a tram would be a bad idea I reckon.
I had read some of it a while ago, but lost my place and never bothered to refind it. Might have to give it another look some time, because it's a great book. I wish I had the certainty of a set date, honestly. Six months is easier to handle than "it's a mystery"
Just dropped the pets off for their kennel stays while we nip off to NZ - as soon as the staff picked up Toby, I absolutely sobbed ๐ญ
I setup the replacement Xbox last night and am finally sitting down and giving it a crack. I have Minecraft, knockoff coke Zero from aldi, a full belly, and a comfy couch. Life is good.
nostalgia trip
In 2016 (or maybe 2017), my mum surprised me with an Xbox from my birthday. It was an Xbox 360 E, and a copy of Minecraft. That was my first time on a console, and I stayed up all night playing it. Literally all night. Probably needless to say she was less than happy I was still up when she woke up, but she just let it be. I had a lot of fun, and also had a few cans of coke over night. That's a core memory of mine that I've never really been able to recreate. There was such a feeling of carelessness and peace that night, a feeling I unfortunately very rarely experienced during my youngest years.
continuation, but less of a fun memory more of a historical vent, probably more sad
That was when I was really struggling with "school refusal", as they call it, and mum was really trying to push me to go. It was a very difficult time, and led to such a feeling of helplessness, probably for both of us. That's probably why I enjoyed the care free feeling the games provided - a little safe haven away from the constant chaos and incessant disappointment and despair of the real world. A world where the biggest concern is placing enough torches to keep the zombies away.
Interesting. The local library was my safe haven as a kid. Or any book really. I predate xbox and electronic games so there wasn't a huge lot of choice. Nowadays my local library makes a big deal about being 'fun' and 'lively' and 'inclusive' - which to kid me sounds like hell on earth. So it wouldn't be available as a safe haven now. I suspect we all need a safe haven in our lives - and find it in a variety of places. Another very unfashionable opinion of mine is that quite a lot of illegal drug use gets its root cause in the search for a mental safe haven in a hostile universe, albeit a temporary one with a huge downside.
100%. Any form of escapism that makes us feel like we have some freedomโฆ Itโs a strong imprint in our formative yearsโฆ
I think a lot of us still chase it, be it knowingly or unknowingly.
Hope you continue creating other good memories. Might not be exactly the same, but you can get pretty close. โจ
It's strange - why am I eager to help my friend clean her apartment but leave my own space a dump when a clean space helps me feel less cluttered mentally?
Several of my friends have the same problem as me, much easier to help others clean and tidy than do your own space. I put it down to reduced negative emotional weight (to objects, to the activity, guilt of not doing it in a timely manner, repetitiveness etc) and greater positive emotion (helping others, building social capital, satisfaction from completing tasks, maybe a sense of superiority because others needed your help) when cleaning others' spaces rather than ones own. I just roll with it now and accept that it's a thing
Maybe we should all just clean our friends' spaces. Problem solved.
Spent the arvo doing laundry at the Laundromat, got a coffee, walked down to Barkley Square to suss out dehumidifiers (no bueno, will have to order online), then saw a spontaneous rave:
Didn't catch who it was, but she was absolutely laying down some sick beats from the back of her van ๐ค
Beautiful day. Not much to do, so reading in bed, music and games I think.
Enjoy your day everyone!
You can't make me
join us at work
I bring fire and sticks, you bring the marshmallows.
Took forever to get going but it got there (without cheating!). Wasn't a very big pile this year (can only do it mid winter) but still satisfying.
Nice one!
Treating myself to a cafe big breakfast because all I got at home is ramen and sardines. While ramen and sardines WAS a tempting option, having no eggs or frozen veg to add sealed the deal
City excursion with the fam today. Got new shoes, had a good dinner and overall good vibes.
Cheers to the young couple that had a chat with us at Lids (hat shop).
May your life turn out the way you want.
I've discovered Mickey likes to eat spinach. So he got a little pile of it last night and he fully ate it all. May have to occasionally give him a treat of it, he always wants what we eat and it isn't harmful ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Beep Beep ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฅญ๐๐ฅฅ๐ฅฆ๐ฅ๐ซ๐๐
๐ฅ๐ฅฌ๐ฅ๐ฝ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ง
๐ฅฏ๐๐ฅ๐ฅจ๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐ง๐ณ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅฉ๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ง๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ฆช๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ชผ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ฅฎ๐ข๐ก๐ง๐ฐ๐ง๐ฅง๐ฆ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฏ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐ต๐บ๐ถ๐ฅค๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐ท๐ฅ๐ธ๐น๐ง๐
A serve of tasty noodles/ramen with lots of seafood please chef.
Great. I woke up this morning to 2 notifications from my bank. 2 transactions happened while I was asleep, one to some company called xsolla and another to Netflix. I don't have Netflix, and don't know wtf an xsolla is. Called the bank, they told me disputes have to be raised through the app now. The app and it's stupid fake messaging robot didn't let me add any context, the whole process is basically just yes and no buttons. Also it kept talking about humans in almost every message.
Not how I wanted to spend my Saturday.
You might need a new bank as well.
Edit: a new bank card as well might help!
I canโt upvote this enough
Today was a really lovely, satisfying day.
mundane details
Got a friend to help me go between Richmond and the CBD looking for work shirts (one heavy duty one and a couple normal ones) to be embroidered for work. Had lunch, plenty of walking in the sun, even some genmaicha ice cream and generally a productive day... Even treated myself to a pair of lovely olive green wide pants and fluffy slippers, both at half price at muji.
The work shirts and slippers I've been procrastinating on to the last possible minute. I got it done with the moral support of my friend who knows the fastest way to get around Emporium and helped me look for a lunch place and parking spaces earlier.
I don't feel nearly as exhausted as yesterday even though I was out for as long and had to do more active stuff, actually even feel a little recharged? It's a nice feeling.
Can I just ask why the hell women's collared shirts are so oversized now though? Seems like the only style is to wear them as overshirts, not straight up shirts. Uniqlo and Muji both i needed an XS, even the Bisley work shirt I had to get a size 8, which is unprecedented (normally 10-12). This is on top of a thermal layer...
Sure I've lost weight from muscle atrophy being sedentary, but my ribcage and shoulders have not changed size over the last 5 years - I hate this new style! I don't have the body shape for it...
and the loose styles have really thin arms so big people can't wear them
Okay the memes coming from our breakdancer's performance overnight are so fucking funny
The support chat in some apps needs its own notification.
Birds got into the Woolworths delivery yesterday because the doorbell wasn't rung.
I jump on the support chat, because that's the only way you can do anything these days, then waiting for a response I close my phone. I have a job, kids, and a life so I forget about it and the support person leaves the chat. Where does that leave my things the birds got into? I need a buzz or a reminder or something these people have replied
Defeats the whole purpose of chatting and reply at your own pace type of support.
I bought myself a sneaky wine in the sun and was about to go home but then the singer started and I happen to be the the only person in the courtyard... It would be rude to not have another drink ..(plus she is really good)
Operation get rid stuff continues. Today it's my sewing cupboard. I don't think I need all those supplies for children's clothes anymore.
And if I ever do I'll just buy new.
When I first watched the Raygun, I figured she was so good at breaking that she transcended traditional style and sort of unleashed a new form on the world stage.
I considered it very poor timing to introduce your genius at the Olympics, and people just arenโt ready for the โmemeโ breakdancing , however, I kept an open mind about the whole affair and considered the possibility that current state of the art form is pushing boundaries in this direction so itโs nothing to worry about.
Iโm still holding out for my perceptions to manifest into a reality but Iโm losing faith here
She certainly got everyone's attention. She also got a trip to Paris as an Olympian.
Good night everyone. ๐ฅฐ
Goodnight Goonsy, sleep tight, don't let your house get a bed bug infestation. I hear that A. They bite, and B. They're really hard and annoying to get rid of
Btw thanks for being such a rock with the DTs recently
These weightlifters are lifting the equivalent of 40 cats at the moment, if you were wondering.
Imagine 40 cats hanging off a barbell. I don't think they'd be cooperative.
The difficulty would come not from the weight of the cats, but the wrangling
And now Iโve got a mental picture of all the cats hanging off the barbell like that kitten in the โhang in thereโ poster. Plus a random couple of them balancing on top of it, for good measure ๐
Ha. Haha. Ha. Ha. My day keeps on getting better. New developments:
A. I cut my finger while making dinner. Well, not even while making dinner, while eating dinner.
B. The motor in the fan in the bathroom seems to have burnt out, and left a gross burning plastic smell through the house. At least I hope it's burnt out, because it's wired to the same circuit as the light, so I can't have the light on without the fan also being on
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