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[-] dannoffs@lemmy.sdf.org 140 points 1 year ago

"Sorry, this job doesn't seem like a good fit or healthy working environment. Have a good rest of your day"

[-] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

He’s too Chad to be left alive.

[-] ndguardian@lemmy.studio 6 points 1 year ago

I’ll bring you his pen to prove he’s been dealt with. That will only be $45,000.

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[-] DrQuint@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

And then you steal the pen.

[-] Lexam@lemmy.ca 93 points 1 year ago

I'm an Engineer. I am not customer facing. Put my pen back.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

In fact, if a customer accidentally enters your office,you hiss and hide your face in your cowl like an old school vampire being exposed to sunlight.

[-] Lexam@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

I hate cold air blowing on me, and I always wear my hoodie inside. So this is accurate.

[-] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Hoodies are the most elite form of clothing and I will die on this hill. So adjustable 😊

[-] BuckShot686@beehaw.org 68 points 1 year ago

I got a sales job offer on the spot by first highlighting the limited use of a single pen and without extra's on hand its negative business impacts. Then stated I had tons of pens available in my car and positioned selling them at least 100, but recommended they acquire 1000+ as this prevents potential issues plus gets them a better deal. Pretty solid approach in my experience.

[-] tko@tkohhh.social 67 points 1 year ago

Selling is an art... and this is why I'm not in sales. I have absolutely no interest in trying to convince somebody to buy something.

[-] BuckShot686@beehaw.org 26 points 1 year ago

True sales is just filling a need, sometimes the customer knows they need it but others are unaware of it. Good sales reps will not sell something unless it makes sense for everyone involved.

[-] HappyMeatbag@beehaw.org 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The only sales job I’ve ever had was like this, luckily for me. We were taught to spend more time listening than talking. It was very low pressure, and more like problem solving than your stereotypical, pushy kind of selling. I would have been terrible at that.

[-] jmp242@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 year ago

Yea, I was never exactly in sales (Geek Squad in store employee is the closest I ever came) but I remember thinking everyone who was like lets get rid of commission in retail sales were very mislead. I still remember the difference in Sears employees in the 90s when I first got a PC and the salesman actually knew to look at the box of the game I was trying to buy and make sure it'd run on my PC before selling it to me. I also remember them knowing about the stuff they sold. This is because with commission, even in small towns you could make a career of it and you'd have actual experienced staff in the stores. As far as I could ever tell, the good salespeople wanted you to trust them, and not to just make a one time huge sale - they wanted you to come back again and again.

Once they all went to non-commission, I recall that being a "selling point" of the stores, but now all you had was a rotating cast of highschool and college summer workers who cared exactly as much as minimum wage paid them to care... i.e. not at all. And they occasionally became unable to even read the boxes they were "selling". It turned them into less efficient cash register attendants.

[-] BuckShot686@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Exactly, sales isn't easy but customer retention makes the job easier. If a customer has a great experience, they tend to be repeat customers and even tell their friends. Word of mouth undoubtedly being the most effective marketing method makes non pushy sales the best approach for sure.

[-] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 64 points 1 year ago

take the pen and leave. when they ask for the pen back, say it's $10.

[-] M_Reimer@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

And if they don't care about the pen at all?

[-] Nintendo@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago
[-] Chaser@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago

I like your gumption, son. How would you like to come work for me at my company?

[-] moistclump@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This pen is mine but I’ll let you borrow it for a month for free.

After a month it will be $5 per use. Or you can choose an $8/month option for an ongoing pen subscription. Think of that, you only need to use the pen TWICE this whole month to have maximized the pen value.

If you need different pens sometimes, for just $11.50/month I’ll get you access to my other two pen colours. These can be booked online using an exclusive, easy to use app.

Again, pen is totally free right now for one whole month so you can just go ahead and start using it. I just need to grab your credit card information to make future borrowing of the pen as convenient as possible for you.

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[-] helpmeplease@infosec.pub 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"No, it's mine, go and buy one by yourself"

And now you've got a pen that you didn't have at the start of the interview, and you've given capitalism a lesson of capitalism.

[-] deadsuperhero@lemmy.ml 26 points 1 year ago

Just cross your arms, smile wryly, and comment on how pathetic the Interviewer's pen is. Cheap material, runny ink, a grip that's painful to hold. Wish him good luck in taking notes on subsequent interviews.

Then lean in, and say "But, you know? I've got a premium writing utensil. It's crafted in the Netherlands by a Space Age engineering firm. It's designed to fit comfortably between your fingers. And the Indian ink that runs through it glistens and glides smoothly through a specially crafted tip."

Pull out a business card with absolutely beautiful handwriting on it. Just as he expresses surprise and interest, sigh and say "But... It's really not for you. It's really more of a thing for your boss, or your boss's boss."

Start getting up to leave, and wait for him to come running after you.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Only downside is that, according to The Game or whatever those idiots are calling their harassment these days, his pen will inevitably want to sleep with you after all that negging

[-] deadsuperhero@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

God, that book sucked. I read it out of curiosity, but it was trash.

[-] Mastens@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

"Sell me this pen"

"Okay." *takes pen "Write down your name."

"I need a pen."

"Exactly. Supply and demand."

[-] DarraignTheSane@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Bullshit that only true bullshitters can spew.

[-] hypnotoad__@lemmy.ml 24 points 1 year ago

I got my first job at 15 answering this question. I sold cordless (not cellular, cordless) phones at Sears

The "easy" answer to this question is to pick up the pen, then ask the interviewer if they can write something down. They'll look for a pen, which you're holding. You smile, and say, "if you'd like, I have something to assist with that request..." and trail off a bit. Some people will laugh at this joke and it's enough for them to pass the test. Personally, I'm not a fan of this method.

My 15 year old self hadn't heard this question before, so I just picked the pen up and started listing the wonderful qualities of this pen, and how quickly your life would be enhanced if you had it. "It has the deepest of royal blue hues, with a rich writing sensation and smooth flow on the paper. The grip allows for ultimate comfort, so the pen is usable all day long without any soreness in the fingers or hand. It's so well shaped and ergonomical, you can barely feel it in your hand. And with the above-industry-standard sized ink chamber, you'll be able to use this pen far longer than the competition. This pen has both the value and form that the modern consumer has come to expect in their premium pen buying experience."

And so forth. Basically, do sales stuff

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[-] Iunnrais@lemm.ee 23 points 1 year ago

Step one: ask what the person’s use case is, then match it. It’s a standard interview trap to present this “sell this pen” thing as a test where the “potential customer” needs to prop up their window or poke a hole in a balloon or something stupid like that, just so they can turn down the people who hype up the writing capabilities. Always ask what they need first.

[-] AlecSadler@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I sold cars for a year. During the initial onboarding we were asked to "sell a pen" to the trainer.

Everyone jumped right in to selling the qualities of the pen they had in hand.

At the end of the exercise the trainer said, "I'm looking for a pencil".

The point was, don't assume what the customer is looking for. Ask qualifying questions and identify 3-5 hot buttons, then based on what should be knowledge of the inventory and inventory of surrounding dealerships (yeah, they're all connected to some degree), make recommendations that fit their needs.

Then describe all the ways it could fulfill their wants using positive, yes questions. Don't ask a question you don't know the answer to. We were taught that it takes 5-10 Yes responses to offset the negative mental energy from a question asked resulting in a No - so we weren't supposed to mess that up. That was just one of numerous psychological plays we were taught and forced to use or get threatened with being fired or having bonuses taken away.

The whole training series was bullshit. And I say it was bullshit because it sucked playing all these games on people. Yeah, 1/5 of the time it didn't work because they caught on. But the amount of times it actually worked made me feel guilty and sad.

The amount of times you put someone into a car they couldn't afford because you successfully sold them on their wants and not their needs was awful.

I quit near the end of that year because fuck car sales and fuck car dealerships. This was 15 years ago, so who knows what it's like now.

Also, because I assume someone might ask (lol assuming, I fail), this was for a conglomerate that owned 5 used car lots, a Scion lot, a Toyota lot, a Lexus lot, and oddly a Ford & Chevy lot. Last I heard they're just down to a Lexus lot and one used car lot now. Apparently the mortgage bubble and COVID hit them hard. Fine by me.

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[-] FatTony@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Isn't the whole idea of the pen sale pitch that you basically have to ignore the pen?

[-] SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml 40 points 1 year ago

Pen boy : Do not try and sell the pen. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.

Neo : What truth?

Pen boy : There is no pen.

Neo : There is no pen?

Pen boy : Then you'll see, that it is not the pen that sells, it is only yourself.

[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 year ago

Yes. As long as the answer doesn't focus on the pen itself then it's a good answer.

[-] fubo@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

"Okay, so let's say you hire me as a senior engineer. I put in a request for a gross of these pens for my office; price 50¢ apiece; total seventy-two bucks plus shipping and tax. Do you sign off on it?"

[-] jsveiga@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago

What the flux do you need a pen for? Now, let me show you these unique single pixel NFTs...

[-] mojo@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

Say we only sell pens on pen island.

[-] pezhore@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

I worked with the guy who owned https://www.penisland.net/. He actually made some laser engraved pens and pass them around work. Man, Earthlink Cloud in the late 2000s was a blast.

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[-] moobythegoldensock@geddit.social 12 points 1 year ago

“Don’t need to: you’ve already bought it.”

[-] kairo79@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago

put the pen in your pocket and ask "what pen?"

[-] Send_me_nude_girls@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I give you 2 dollar if you take this pen.

(Because everyone has too many pens already and wouldn't even want one for $0.01 and I want to get rid of this pen or else have to pay for its recycling)

It's about selling the pen and not making a profit, right?

[-] Sudo@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago
[-] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Fuck you, it's my pen.

[-] borlax@lemmy.borlax.com 3 points 1 year ago

"Do you need a pen?"

[-] yak@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Ask them if they've ever watched Casino and smile

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this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023
106 points (100.0% liked)

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