People's safety is more important than people's feelings.

~~I have some extra emotional capacity today so~~ (see edit*) I'll post some wrong think: but can we stop antagonizing populations that feel disenfranchised by society and therefor giving the truly evil fucks out there an easy population to brainwash and feed extra scummy ideologies to?

Young nerdy men who feel excluded from society that dont have any strong female figures in their life are barraged by a constant stream of messaging that could easily be interpreted as "(white) men are evil and the source of all problems with society"

By constantly antagonizing them for not being able to navigate the political nuance of those messages, we give an incredibly easy pathway to the more toxic ideologies that the Tates of the world will pull them into to profit off of them, because they are the only figures who will give them praise and a sense of belonging.

Edit: Its a new day now, and I no longer have the energy. If you want to vent, understanding that venting in this manner will bring about little to no positive change, you do you, I will no longer be responding

Downvoted not because it isn't true, but because they aren't automatically mutually exclusive and because it is an unnecessary jab at half of the human species. Why are we paying attention to divisive bullshit instead of focusing on things that actually have the potential to help?

The thing is, I've seen statements like this before. Except when I heard it, it was being used to justify ignoring women's experiences and feelings in regard to things like sexual harassment and feeling unsafe, since that's "just a feeling" as well. It wasn't okay then, and it's not okay the other way around. The truth is that feelings do matter, on both sides. Everyone should feel safe and welcome in their surroundings. And how much so that is, is reflected in how those people feel.

The outcome of men feeling being respected and women feeling safe are not mutually exclusive. The sad part is that someone who is reading this here is far more likely to be an ally than a foe, yet the people who need to hear the intended message the most will most likely never hear it nor be bothered by it. There's a stick being wedged here that is only meant to divide, and oh my god is it working.

The original post about bears has completely lost all meaning and any semblance of discussion is lost because the metaphor is inflammatory by design - sometimes that's a good thing, to highlight through absurdity. But metaphors are fragile - if it's very likely to be misunderstood or offensive, the message is lost in emotion. Personally I think this metaphor is just highly ineffective at getting the message across, as it has driven people who would stand by the original message to the other side due to the many uncharitable interpretations it presents. And among the crowd of reasonable people are those who confirm those interpretations and muddy the water to make women seem like misandrists, and men like sexual assault deniers. This meme is simply terrible and perhaps we can move on to a better version of it that actually gets the message across well, instead of getting people at each other's throat.

I'm a woman (a trans one if that matters to you) and have experienced sexual assault and domestic violence from both men and women.

I know the point that people are trying to make with the whole bear thing.

But I think the friction comes from women talk about this as a theoretical to make a point, where men are thinking more literally.

And I do belive that no one in there right mind, if actually given this option in real life, would pick a bear (unless maybe it was definitely one of the more harmless species).

Each and every one of us, even those of us that have survived SA, have had countless uneventful interactions with men you don't know. Even when it's just one on one. And its mostly normal biases that makes us remember the shitty ones more. And something a lot of people forget is that the vast majority of SA victims already know their assailant, so the idea of a rando assaulting you is even less likely. So yes I would much rather be in the woods with a man, than a wild fucking animal. And if you're a reasonable person, then you would too.

How many female teachers have been caught fucking their barely pubescent students this year alone so far?

It isn't a men-women problem. People just suck.

I'm a woman and the same way that women feel about men in this whole meme thing, is the exact same way I feel about women...

I don't trust women within a hairs inch of my life and I would rather be with a bear than a Woman but I bet you I'll get super downvoted for this opinion.

This whole thing is bait.

Anyone engaging on any side of the debate are fools. Any topic antagonizing half the population will somehow stir up some noise.

It's like saying all women are bad at sport because they don't train hard enough. It's ignorant and serves only the purpose of creating a divide in the population.

Stop engaging in the divide.

So if men are statistically safer than bears and women's safety is most important, then you agree "bear" is the incorrect choice?

I'm just trying to figure out all these incoherent memes.

I see OP noticed how much traction and drama this post stirred up last week so they decided to try it for themselves.

It's so tiring seeing the men coming in and deliberately misunderstanding what's being discussed. They will do literally anything, appear dumb as rocks, to not recognize rape culture and admit potentially any fault or responsibility towards it's continued existence. They take everything personally instead of being able to see that societal problems there are also responsible for helping to fix.

It's this sexist statement still being made? Cool, cool, cool... I mean it's not actually, but here we are with this crap still being said.

So there mere presence of a man implies a lack of safety? It may be your feelings but it is also major misandry.

Feel however you want, but don't drag me into the what other people have done. I don't deserve the prejudice, and I'd rather just not interact with you.

Not sure what else this meme is doing other than actively creating a bigger divide between the genders...

It's nice to change the subjects of racist phrases to get a free dunk on a lot of people that are cool to hate now.

How are so many people angry at a simple fucking hypothetical?

Here's my hot take on all this:

Fellas, it's not that your feelings don't matter, everyone's feelings matter, it's that your feelings don't matter more than the safety of others.

You're getting mad at the wrong shit here. You're mad at the women for not wanting to be stuck in a forest with a random dude, when in all actual fact, that decision was borne from a plethora of experience with random dudes, most of that experience being negative.

Almost all of that negativity is because there's to fucking many creepy ass dudes making us all look bad. To be blunt, I have high hopes, and expectations from my fellow man; especially when it comes to respecting women. Yes, there's a nontrivial number of crazy bitches out there, in the same breath, there's a lot of crazy dudes too. They're making us all look bad. Be mad at them.

The women are only making the best decision for their own health and safety, based on their experience. Be the change you want to see in the world, my brothers. Be that change.

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This topic keeps coming up because people keep talking past each other. There is a real, measured, evidence backed problem. The victims are saying “I feel this way, and it causes me to behave this way” and those who are neither victims nor perpetrators are upset about the way they are choosing to express that in a general sense. Now this meme itself is not more helpful than the bear, it didn’t give any new information. But it’s a good expression of that general frustration when no one listens. At least on Lemmy, there is a certain defensive response rather than an understanding empathetic one on this topic. This meme in particular seems harsh, but it’s driven by decades of talking about this, or not being able to talk about this, because the response is always so negative. Everything from “why did you dress that way” to “you should have know before you married them” to “not only women” (yes but that’s the topic at hand so). I would hope that some can come to understand this sentiment. I hope that this community improves.

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