If he didn't like it, he wouldn't have invented getting railed in a sundress.
« I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I rail and get railed in a sundress; I, the LORD, do all these things. »
Isn't one of their big rules "Be fruitful and multiply"?
I take that to mean getting railed in sundresses is perfectly christian.
And the Lord commandeth, "Go forth and do some ho shit"
"Do some shit" definitely implies anal.
"Go fourth" suggests a group setting.
'Go forth and receive eternal life.'
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
[redacted]
And by be fruitful and multiply he clearly meant, only having sex with the lights out, under the covers, in the missionary position, for the sole purpose of procreation.
Only if it involves getting nailed while on a cross
Yeah I'm going to hell.
I'll keep you company, I laughed
imagine getting nailed so hard they make 4 extra holes
i dated a sundress girl once. goooood times.
The question everyone needs an answer to right now is: did you rail her in the sundress?
“goooood times” didn’t spell that our for ya?
Guys, I still don’t know whether that sundress was partly undressed and I am FREAKING OUT.
I can practically hear the rattle of pearls being clutched and gasps of indignation. How much you want to bet Bonnie was getting hers when she was young but that was "just in fun" or "she didn't know better but does now"?
Bonnie sure as shit isn't wearing pearls to clutch. Maybe clutching her Hallmark locket with a picture of her favorite Hummel figurine inside it.
Bonnie wishes she had a pearl necklace.
I wanna be railed in a sundress... 🥺
Step 1) Procure and wear sundress
Step 2) Flirt provocatively
Step 3) ???
Step 4) Profit!
He's an overweight middle aged man though
No accounting for taste
Eh let him live his best life
I guess Bonnie made it to age 60 being a virgin and pleasing God somehow, and wishes that desolate solitary misery on everybody else
being a virgin and pleasing God somehow
Well, there's a reason they say that the most powerful position is on your knees..
I just wonder why it needs to be a certain season, and why a sundress is required.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Just saying…I never needed to wear a sundress, and it never needed to be a certain season.
I think it's worth reminding people of the amazing song "God is a Freak", by Peach PRC
God is a bit of a freak
Why's he watching me getting railed on the couch
Staying pure for a wedding?
He's got fucked up priorities
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