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How to know you'll turn out trans?
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this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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That's sort of my experience, but I'll also add that if you don't know that being trans is a thing then it's possible to just not recognise what it is or that you can do something about it.
This was my experience. I was raised in a very conservative, very religious community where I was never exposed to the concept of transness. I was fully convinced that I was a boy and could never be anything but a boy. And yet, I could tell I was different from the other boys.
As I got older, that feeling turned into an ever-present sensation of wrongness. My body felt tainted, somehow. Unclean. Contaminated. It possessed an inherent grossness that could never be washed away. I lived with that feeling every day for 25 years. No medication, no counseling, no hard work ever did anything to alleviate it or the severe depression that was my typical mental state. Then a bunch of things happened all at once, and I started questioning my gender. A few days later I shaved off my beard and rediscovered what joy feels like. That's when I knew.
I was never a boy.
I'm so sorry that you had such a horrible journey, but I'm so proud of you for making it this far
Thank you. It doesn't feel like I've done much journeying, as I was essentially trapped in emotional stasis for most of my life and circumstances have so far prevented me from doing anything with my newfound knowledge, but at least I know which way is forward now.
Yeah, fair enough. Best of luck, you deserve happiness and I'm rooting for you