If you don't have the DLC for Hoi4, Road to 56 makes for a great mod to get you some good focus trees and such, pretty much every country in the world has a unique focus tree. Worth it to check out.

Thats a common problem people have with Paradox games, for the most part my goals in them are just "paint the map however is most convenient" lmao. I have a hard time actually getting the motivation to fight tough opponents and normally ignore them in favor of expanding the easy path, until those powerful guys are now too powerful for me to even deal with.

Btw, the Total War games I said I liked are older entries into the series. I haven't really played with the newer Total Wars, so if you want a more recent game, it'd probably be worth it for you to look into them and see which one is most attractive for you as I can't really reccomend any of them having not played them. Do be aware that Empire is extremely clunky, and Napoleon is practically the same game, with a smaller map, far less clunkiness, and of course a bit later in history.