Every character I play is secretly asexual, and I don't think anyone has realized yet.

The closest I came to come out of the closet was when my Undead Warlock married his Unseen Servant. It was his best friend, they looked up to one another, respected each other, and shared an exclusively platonic relationship.

He prepped the entire ceremony in secret as part of multiple sessions:

• He asked his mentor to put a 6th level Major Image inside his spell storing trinket, which he used to create the perfect setting for the altar.
• He took a dragon scale from the corpse of a dragon the party had slain, and spent money to have an engagement ring crafted out of it.
• He had an outfit made out of very expensive material for the Unseen Servant.
• He put the Unseen Servant spell inside a custom wondrous item that gave him infinite casts of a 1st-level spell.
• He asked the party's cleric to cast Ceremony.

He then waited for the final battle, and the night before, he gathered everyone without telling them why, took out the ring, cast Unseen Servant and proposed to it. There were a lot of happy noises that evening, especially from the party's cleric :)

The character I'm playing now is a lawful good city watch who is "married to his job", and the Paladin has joked multiple times about taking him to a brothel. Bruh, take the hint.