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Do you feel dumb ?
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So first off, I'm so happy that you found my comment helpful! This is a hobby but I am working to be a professional in the field so that's a huge compliment to me!
Next, good job listening to your body! This may also surprise you, but for years we have found that "forward motion" (meaning working towards goals or overcoming obstacles) is therapeutic. However recently, it was shown in a study under Standford University that literally forward motion (i.e. walking) medically, measurably, calms nerves relating to stress! The mechanism is called optic flow, and I'll leave a link for the study down below if you want to geek out with me.
So anyway, what it sounds like is that the natural calming nature of walking (optic flow) is being used to combat stress coming from stressful topics while you process them. It's pretty cool what we com up with when we're honest with ourselves about how we feel. Great work!
Easy to read article: https://scopeblog.stanford.edu/2020/06/03/setting-your-biological-clock-reducing-stress-while-sheltering-in-place/
Research paper: (sorry for the monster link, it's a paid paper if you don't have the referral from Scientific American) https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-018-0078-2.epdf?sharing_token=p2UzdMPooyCx94wCmteRk9RgN0jAjWel9jnR3ZoTv0N7LNPtyt24kJUb6fcoG7oz5k1aLZNMW5HRMMzeNl4Rw5jrMEG6mGGD30qcY4221bnbNhRUVP8a-1cSgXlo7Gyhg2HiZ3fuhFE2wvVLmBJzHQQM5sXoxJVvfmSOXhLHYNcun-6DFm9r79C4sVWdCRXkNVowKUb8yVq_LDC5IKI5r0EhchYvQFWyeXRMcqoIF8VvElqtq8PxX_8xrXFPGwweqluRA-I6X2OpoYyJXDKiF1OlQfJHr_UiLRuCFx57j3g02yzoQEPU3jnwAd2MSIrk&tracking_referrer=www.scientificamerican.com
Thanks!
It took many years to start to know myself, I neglected myself by improperly understanding stoicism that correlated with some mental issues and low self esteem. Many triggers I had I just broke thru with pain, always felt exhausted. There was no sense of accomplishment in the struggle as things I struggle with are normal things for regular people, that's what I told myself, so I should not make a fuss.
It takes a lot of effort to have compassion for one self.