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this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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Maybe don’t constantly listen what media says? Otherwise u will end up paranoid.
Maybe actually listen to women's experiences, instead.
I can tell you haven't.
Yeah, disregard advice destined to protect an endangered group when you belong to that group. That's going to go reallllllly well.
Is it actually intended to protect you, or is it intended to constantly neg you to the point you become a hollow shell of a woman, overly eager to please others out of fear for hypotheticals, no longer capable of recognizing good in others so you'll settle for the abusive relationships you've been conditioned to expect?
Translation:
Man, you sound like you have zero respect for women whatsoever. You really think that women are so weak minded as a whole that just being exposed to the violence primarily levied against women is just going to break all women mentally?
It's not something specific about women, but people in general respond poorly to being constantly bombarded with fear porn. the only thing specific to women in this scenario is the flavour of fear porn being peddled. There are abundant examples of other flavours designed to antagonize other demographics throughout the media landscape.
It's not fear porn. It's reality.
If what you're saying is that people respond poorly in general to the news, then fine. But that's hardly the same thing as being negged into abusive relationships.
You can use real scenarios as fear porn by hyper focusing on them, far beyond what's reasonable, and to the exclusion of everything else.
You're treading a fine line with that logic claiming that news like this is designed to neg women into being constantly afraid.
If making people aware of dangerous situations is a good thing, then being aware of how media can be used maliciously is also a good lesson.
Sure. But painting women as completely beholden to the news to the point that they're negged into paranoia and abusive relationships is blatantly over representing the problem.
Well you're just completely misrepresenting what I've said there.
I'm using your words, in your phrasing. If I'm misrepresenting what you said, then you might want to reexamine what you said.
You should read it more carefully. I'm speaking about the motives of those who spread fear porn, not the aptitude of women as a whole.
Ok, and claiming that news pertaining to the rape and murder of women by men who were spurned is manipulative is better in what way?
Painting news organizations as having the overall goal of negging women into paranoia and abusive relationships doesn't even make sense. If anything, their goal would be clicks, not sewing chaos in that way.
And anyway, insinuating that the problem in the original post is the news fear mongering to condition women, and not the pervasive problem of violent men assaulting women, is itself insulting to women. Which is the point I was originally making.
Me have been screaming at me in public about their penis feelings since i was in primary school and that's the very least of it. Women don't need the media to know we're in danger. Men will bombard us with enough sexual harrassment to do that themselves.
Funny how this is almost never what actually happens.
You kidding? Fear porn is a solid half of social media, at least.
I was denying the point that all fears women have are false or baseless.
If that's what you thought I was saying, you're not understanding my point.
Guess what happened the two whole times I deliberately ignored the "paranoia."
Go on. Guess.
No.fucking.shit. !!
I can't believe you're getting downvoted.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting
It's incredible how many people think gaslighting is literally any instance of saying something untrue.
But this instance is particularly egregious, because you didn't even read the first sentence of the link you posted.
I think it's valid to bring up gaslighting here since the poster they're replying to is implying that we shouldn't believe women are victims as much as they are. It's pretty much a guarantee that everyone will know a woman who has been subject to sexual assault in their life.
I'm posting this thinking you only see gaslighting as its intentional use by other people. But there's also the instance of self-gaslighting, where one creates their own demons.
We'll take as an example the idea of the movie "Number 23". Where Jim Carrey plays a man who becomes obsessed with the number 23, starts seeing it everywhere and begins the search for a conspiracy related to it.
When we begin to fear something, we start taking it as a serious possibly of happening. We get drawn by news we'd otherwise pay less attention to, we start searching our surroundings for the chance that something like that might happen, we begin to view potential aggressors with distrust. And the longer we focus on this fear, the more it takes over and compromises our judgement. This is where the self-gaslighting comes in. We twist the world to have it conform to this fear, second-guess every interaction, attribute hidden meanings to every conversation and consider anyone who might be able to act as we fear as someone willing to act in that way.
Self-gaslighting can be inferred from the comic above because all we see are the instances in which the fear is magnified in an otherwise normal day.
Catcalling, sticking too close in the subway, dismissive reactions, they're all normal, rude behavior that happen to anyone, but in different ways.
Catcalling specifically happens to women as an uneducated attempt to flirt or show off. Most of the time it's just a dumb ritual of teasing that most of the initiators simply forget about, but on the rare occasions that it devolves to violence, anyone can be a target: the woman in question, the friends the watched it happen or any random passerby that had the misfortune of being a passive observer. Most women don't stick around long enough to see that part happen though.
Sticking too close in the subway, if not by a violent individual who would be violent regardless when given the chance, is an awkward social need or a sign of depression. Have you ever seen the meme about a guy relieving himself in the men's restroom, only to have another guy come in and stop at a urinal right next to the first guy? That's not just a meme. Men have to suffer such individuals all the time.
And in the subway specifically, maybe the person is a creep. But also maybe they don't care who sits around because they like that spot, it soothes them after a long day at work, it's their one real joy and you're in the way. Or maybe they're socially awkward and want to start a conversation, but are too shy to do so in public. Or maybe they're just a creep. Really, they're probably just a creep. The subway brings out the weird in people.
And finally, dismissive reactions are normal in everything. We don't want to live in fear, we don't want to blow things out of proportions, we don't want to engage in stressful situations all around. It's like going to WebMD, it says you have cancer, so you freak out, people tell you to chill and you're upset they're not freaking out with you.
You may consider the dismissal as a lack of emotional support, yet on the contrary, trying to calm you down is the best emotional support one can offer even though it's done poorly. Freaking out doesn't help, ever.
All in all, self-gaslighting into believing things are worse than they actually are is more common than we think. But the opposite is also very much true. The dog sitting in a burning room meme saying "This is fine" is the gold standard in today's society.