I had a few months of existential crisis when I was 21, but it was more related to a manipulative partner who was fetishising my queer identity as I was just figuring out who I was.

I had the same but in my 30s, it was a kind of "embrace and extinguish" thing with my nex. She initially was super supportive, taught me to how to use makeup yadda yadda. but it pretty quickly turned into something much more constrictive: she effectively branded my transness as a sort of dirty kink, and in doing so, was able to cast me as a kind of pathetic, horny, pervert over several years. Every time I hooked up with a guy (at the time I was male-presenting), there was always some reason she would get really angry at me (you didn't call, you were drunk/high, etc.) -- any expressions of LGBTQIA* sexuality were invariably punished, but in a covert way, making them impossible for me to counter (also because I was still riveted with shame).

I'm really happy to hear you're out of that relationship, some people are really toxic, and prey on queer people (often takes the form of basking in the reflected edginess of being queer, while simultaneously behaving in a TERFy, kareny way).