Nah see..

I'm a coffee person and an addict.

I don't resent my addiction like you seem to, there is no animosity in my relationship with coffee. I embrace my addiction and love it, and it loves me back by giving me just what I need. The high, the robust flavor, the aftertaste, the smell, the experience, everything. And 3 cups of black coffee? Bruh, more like a pot or two to get started (8 cup pots) before 7AM, then maybe a french press or an espresso , followed by perhaps a cup of instant or maybe I'll put some coffee sprinkles in my protein shake. All of that before 11AM. Then if I'm going out in the evening, at least a double espresso and or if I'm out and about maybe an Americano or just a latte. Maybe hit a vending machine or grocery store and get an can of iced Mr Brown or a double shot.

When I was a smoker, there was nothing I loved more in the world than a nice cup of black coffee, something thick like motor oil, and a nice cigarette. I stopped smoking for the health impacts which are material, but I didn't resent it when I was smoking. I enjoyed every minute of it. Its the same with coffee. This puritanical approach to self-hating anything that brings you joy. Its a bit silly and not for me. I have no shame in the things that bring me pleasure. Its a far deeper shame to avoid pleasure because of some intrinsic guilt about it.