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femboys and egg culture rule
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
How to get out of an uncomfortable egg culture situation with this one simple trick.
Real talk: Calling people eggs is a violation of the egg prime directive, and is considered invalidating as you are trying to say that a person is not the gender they identify as, that their identity is invalid. Don't call people eggs, like ever, it's extremely uncool.
There is a general rule in the LGBT+ community now we have a lexicon (and some indices) of terms by which you can navigate your desires, feelings and behavior.
That lexicon exists to help you sort out who you are. It's not there for you to categorize other people. People really don't fit into categories (in any sense) and there are always outliers and fringe cases.
If someone starts an I wonder if I'm an egg conversation, its okay to engage with awareness of comfort levels. We each are captains of our own respective identities.
The hardest thing for people to grok is identity ≠ behavior. The continued necessity of the closet means we are still not free to be our true selves in public. Yes, this can be weird, but even close friends can gatekeep by surprise. We need room to explore and be cautious, even if you, personally are dedicated to inclusion and tolerance.
So yeah, if someone seems enby or trans to you, they remain whatever they identify as, and only they get to decide when it is open to discussion.