Bipolar 1 checking in:

Exercise has been a godsend. When I've been better, I would run a 5k a day at lunch. I felt calmer, more stable, and happier.

But when the depression hits, the whole process falls apart. I'll find myself smoking weed to try and numb the feelings but I just end up in a hole for weeks or months. Are these things I can change? Yea, but if I don't have the support of professionals, meds, friends and family, I don't get that push that gets me out of it.

But maybe you have had that experience of waking up on a new day. Perhaps the first day of spring. Perhaps after an oddly good sleep. You wake up and that voice saying "it doesn't have to be like this" is louder than the voice telling you "it's hopeless to try".

Moods go up, moods go down. I have found the time I'm strongest against my depression is when I'm stable, and it's the actions I do then that help me survive the darkness. Exercise won't get me out of a depression, but it does keep it from rearing it's ugly head; at least for one more day.

I know one day I will go back to that hole. I know full well my brightest days will come to an end and I will feel that empty feeling. Until then, I try to put on my running shoes, start my running playlist, and take it one step at a time.

P.S, sorry for launching you meeps.