Feeling this big time. I'm sure many of us can relate way to hard to that.

If anyone asks me to take on too big of a project that requires too much planning or stretch I freak the fuck out and inevitably fail to pull it off not just because of difficulties with ADHD but also because the emotional trauma from failing to live up to expectations over and over again is paralyzing.

I'm fortunate to have found a gig where I can basically just get better at the same thing and increase my level of challenge more incrementally. And I'm recognized and respected and valued by peers and bosses. I don't need promotions or more stress or responsibility. I can contribute to helping junior folks.

I will say that getting diagnosed and thus discovering my inability to finish things or "meet my potential" wasn't a moral failing and I let myself off the hook for a lot of things pretty fast. Sure the trauma response remained but at least I wasn't constantly berating myself anymore.