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how did you deal with internalised transphobia? (self.mtf)
submitted 1 year ago by Vlaxtocia to c/mtf
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It's something I'm really struggling with, thanks to it it feels like I'm obsessed with the idea of 'passing', like whenever I see other trans women who don't pass it gives me a little burst of dread, thinking that it's impossible to pass and I'd never be able to. That horrible fear of looking "like a man in a dress" like there's actually a problem with that outside of the societal expectation I've had slotted into my brain.

I know that you don't have to pass to be trans, and that all trans women are equally valid, and that what I really need to do is to let go of the idea of passing altogether, and just be happy being who I am on the inside.

I was just wondering if any of you girls have been through something similar, and if you had any advice. Xx

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[-] ada 19 points 1 year ago

I spent a lot of time and money striving towards passing. And then I got there, and I found that it cost me something I really value. My queerness is largely invisible at work. Random trans folk I see look right past me. Visibility is important to be (though I didn't realise that at the time) and I lost a lot of my ability to be easily visible

[-] LegionEris@feddit.nl 4 points 1 year ago

Random trans folk I see look right past me.

I had this happen with a whole group of trans women staying at the motel I used to work at. I passed to them to the point that there was no "oh hey!" moment, no Charlie Kelly meerkat eyes. It was a strange experience, at once sad and satisfied?

Now I work at a dispensary and smoke or vape weed every day. For better or worse, I'll never voice pass consistently in a world with legal weed. Which I guess is fine. I'm not especially fond of the "oh whoa" moment on the faces of straight men who have decided from a distance I was a hotgirl(tm) and they were gonna treat me a certain way, but I guess I'd rather disarm straight people than be invisible to young trans girls.

this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
83 points (100.0% liked)

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