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Nope still don't get it
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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Please, can someone be so kind and explain me why choking has become such a fetish/kink?
I'm already aware of the mechanics behind it but I want to understand what motivates someone to turn a life threatning situation into sexually pleasing.
It doesn't and shouldn't be life threatening. It's the feeling of light-headedness that enhances everything else that also surrounds that kink. You're actually not supposed to choke your windpipe but instead squeeze the sides of the neck to slow down but not stop blood flow. If done right and for short amounts of time it shouldn't be life threatening at all. Of course with like everything else there's a lot of people who don't know/don't care about the proper way to do it and end up just chocking their windpipe and stopping their breathing, which is extremely dangerous.
I dont see how basic bdsm is a trend. Seems like every generation has a bdsm awakening at some point, everyone gets used to it, forgets about it or continues to play. Then after another 10-15 years it comes back.
As I state above, I'm already aware of the mechanics.
What I am hoping for is someone sharing what impulse turned a warning sign into a pleasure trigger for them.
In the interest of disclosure, I don't have a choking kink - but I've also been on the internet for nearly three decades at this point so who even knows anymore.
My understanding is that a large part of it is trust. The chokee is quite literally putting their life in someone else's hands and saying, "I trust you enough to do this without killing me." Of course, throw it into casual relationships and it kind of muddies that a little bit - after all, how can you trust someone you just met at a bar/on Tinder/etc. enough to know that they won't kill you? But I think that's where it starts, anyway.
Rape play is the most common kink. You are, after all, an animal with a specific genetic history. Wind back the clock a few centuries and it makes a bit more sense. Thankfully, these days we can do it consentingly. To answer your question, it’s complicated and involves trusting your partner.
My partner is super shy about it. She said she fantasizes about being taken advantage of, but obviously she would hate it irl. It's a role play thing; there's lots of, "you okay? Do you need me to stop? Etc...", and then right back into the dirty talk. It doesn't have to be an asphyxiation/ lightheaded thing either. It's a lot like getting whipped, having your hair pulled, getting bit/ scratched, etc...
I think a lot of it has to do with how women and sex are depicted in the media, and that creates fetishes growing up. Some people also like certain parts of the body. I noticed most people who like to get choked, like hands.
Are you expecting some kind of rational answer? A fetish or kink is basically defined by the sexual desire for something irrational. You can ask how that desire feels to possess or how one goes about playing out that desire in a safe consentual way... but you can't really ask why, why doesn't really come into it. It is sex, all of it is weird.
I am, in fact. People can be extremely coherent explaining why something floats their boat and some other thing does not.
Feet, ankles, legs, tits, ass, pork and beans, ballons, clowns, wiped cream, chips, dips, chains and wips...
Most people can explain why something appeals to them.
But what I specifically want is a rationalization for why choking as become such a mainstream fetish lately.
I guess for any fetish, this many people have always had it. Since it's easier now to find others that enjoy it, they're more comfortable talking about it openly?
Are you asking what the appeal of it is or why is it popular?
At this point, both.
People just want to try something new I imagine. It is entry level BDSM and you don't have to buy (or hide) any equipment.
Tricking the body to release it's natural pain killers which also feels really good.
Because the brain weirdly likes it. Oxygen deprivation can lead to a felling of being high or being more aware.
This might help.