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this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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How many 'boys will be boys' second chances do you feel girls and women owe before they can start making laws about this and punishing the guys responsible?
I dont really think its a "boys will be boys" issue, and more that i dont think any child deserves to have their entire life ruined for something so early in their life. While i dont disagree that its very tramatic for the girls, and it is a really fucked up thing to do that should have no excuses for being acceptable, i feel there are better ways to tackle this issue than marking a 14 year old as a sexual predator or throwing them in jail barring them from a large portion of jobs, housing, etc. for the rest of their life.
But to be clear, i am a prison abolitionist in general, so take that as you will.
These girls are going to have their lives ruined because fake porn with their faces doesn't disappear from the internet. This could follow them for the rest of their lives. Where is the justice for them?
I am in no way trying to downplay the hurt and pain something like that causes. As a dude, I don't think I can ever really be able to know what that feels like, but I can recognize it and empathize with it. No one deserves to go through and live with something like that. It totally sucks, I agree.
However, what exactly is destroying another child's life going to solve? Is it going to make that child stop doing the thing they were punished for? Maybe, but the US recidivism rates beg to differ (44% within the first year). So what then? Is it just to make us feel good, being happy to watch another person get hurt, justified by this made up concept of 'justice'? That's the more likely answer, IMO.
There are much more constructive ways to prevent this from happening again that doesn't require marking a child as an "undesirable" for the rest of their life. I can't necessarily point to what that might look like, maybe enforced counseling to try and teach someone like that why what they did caused so much harm.
Ultimately, what I am trying to say is that someone like this should be held accountable for their actions, but enforcing suffering from the state is not an effective or moral way to do it.
As a bi guy, it arguably goes both ways, I feel like if a woman wants to objectify a man she is free to, if a man so much as looks at a woman he's automatically a creep, or potential "predator" meanwhile women in Saudi will get a good looking guy like Al Gala deported. Like what the hell right?!