As a fat redneck, you're mostly correct. You just forgot to add the word drunk in there somewhere.

Imma fry one up in about half an hour. I'm also gonna start drinking in just a minute. My fat drunk uncle who lost several of his fingers in a fireworks incident is smiling down on me from redneck heaven.

The funniest part is it's the middle class white dudes who burn down their backyards meanwhile bubba and Uncle Jim Bob will give you the juiciest fuckin turkey you'll ever have in your entire life.

Amazing answer, exactly why I I thought it was better to ask than Google it.