See, there's the problem.

Slaw ain't mayo and cabbage. It's more of a cabbage salad, the way you make chicken salad, or whatever.

It's all about the extras, the mayo is just the carrier, and the slaw is your base.

You have to bring pepper to the mix, or you're wasting your time. A bit of apple cider vinegar too. From there, it's about fine tuning.

The carrots are optional, obviously. And I've seen raisins added when there's carrots, and it's here than it sounds.

But. Spice wise, you should bring a touch of paprika to the mix, a little pinch of cumin maybe, and some ground red pepper to give that kick underneath those.

Gotta be friendly with your salt cellar, but not too crazy.

And, believe it or not, the tiniest hint of sugar. I'm talking a literal pinch of the stuff per head of cabbage. Maybe two if you're feeling weird. It enhances the spices, makes the vinegar more subtle, and amplifies the salt so you don't have to use as much salt. Kinda like how a tiny bit of salt in sweet things can let you use less sugar and still get the flavor right.

Keep your cabbage spread small, smaller than you think it should be. The smallest size in most graters is where you want to be.

Now, instead of this bland mess, you've got something that pops and brings its own taste to the party.