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My best friend is transphobic (beehaw.org)

submitted 2 years ago by StrayRose@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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I just found out my best friend of over a decade is transphobic. I don't really have more to say. I'm just devastated and feeling really alone.

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[-] HappyMeatbag@beehaw.org 8 points 2 years ago

“Transphobic” is used a variety of ways, and means different things to different people. What exactly do you mean? For example, are they actively hateful, or just freaked out? Is it religious bias?

I imagine they wouldn’t be your best friend if they were a terrible person, so things may not be as bad as they seem. Perhaps it would only take some genuine listening and nonjudgmental education to solve this problem. If handled carefully and respectfully, this could be a great opportunity to change someone’s outlook in a positive way.

[-] silent_g@beehaw.org 19 points 2 years ago

this could be a great opportunity to change someone’s outlook in a positive way.

It could, but I don't have the energy to educate people these days. I might send them some links if I really cared about them, but I have too little time and energy to politely explain for the millionth time that sex != gender. Same reason I don't have the energy to educate flat earthers.

[-] Gavin@vlemmy.net 7 points 2 years ago

But if they are really close friends it might be worth it.

[-] Abel@lemmy.nerdcore.social 12 points 2 years ago

If they don't go out of their way to put a burden on trans' people lives (and I don't think they do otherwise you would have detected that pretty earlier in the decade of friendship), also remember OP that it's always easier to be LGBT-fobic when no one you know is LGBT. They'll have to measure their transphobia and their love for you in a balance. And sometimes, love wins.