I do not think that anti-racism, anti-fascism, and anti-sexism are much to ask. I do not think that a proactive anti-queerphobia is too much to ask. And yet it seems so hard to find! (And of course such men are never single - which isn’t much of a surprise given that I see so many women settling for far less in a partner 😥) But even in terms of making friends, it’s such a desert out here.

Maybe proximity is a factor as well. I live in an area that is more left-leaning than most of my country and some of the men who live here are here because of that factor.

I ended up re-marrying a man even though I thought I would only settle down with another woman after my divorce. He's one of the most emotionally intelligent and kind people I've ever met in my life. He's not transfem, though he's incredibly open-minded about gender and sexuality and gender roles. But then I start to feel weird waxing poetically about what I find so attractive about some men here because it feels like a "not all men" kind of statement and I'm always conscious of not invalidating others' experiences.

I do not think that anti-racism, anti-fascism, and anti-sexism are much to ask.

You're 100% correct here. It's not too much to ask. And a lot of men act like we're asking for the world when we ask for this.