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Anyone else just not get it?
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this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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Autism
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My wife cheated on me.
She said she was terribly sorry and wanted to work to save the marriage. We went to individual counseling and then tried couples counseling. She derailed that session by lying almost right off the bat.
She promised nothing would ever happen again, but never took any steps to rebuild trust, other than to say, "Trust me Bro."
Fast forward 2 kids and 15+ years. She cheated again and has twisted everything around to be my fault. She made me the villain, so she doesn't have too feel guilty. But then she really believes her bullshit. Says she wants to try and work it out, but then refuses transparency and digs her heels in when I mention couples counseling.
This sucks. She has said some shit that totally took me by surprise. Like, how could she possibly believe the things she was saying. But she did it.
So now, I am 50 years old, have a 12 and 14 year old, and have to re-figure out my life.
I was so dumbfounded when she said the things she did. Like it broke my brain it was such bullshit.
Of course, she's not toxic, I am the one with all the issues.
Saying this sucks doesn't do it justice. I hope you end up on the other side of this better than you are now.
None of that was about her reason. How did she make it your fault?
If that's just an excuse, a post-hoc justification, what do you think is the real reason?
And your wife has this same view of the situation where she's not the problem.
Damn that sucks man. I'm sorry that happened to you. Just a reminder that your feelings are valid. You'll be OK at some point but it's absolutely normal to not be OK now.
Hey I believe in you man. Shit like this can be hard in the moment, but youve still got yourself and your kids. There will be some hard days, but you can do it. As long as there's life there's hope and you're still here.