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women of Lemmy, how do you find cooling when you're on your period?
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2026
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Assuming that people who menstruate = women is somewhat short-sighted, particularly in the fediverse.
banning trans people for being ever-so-slightly impolite in standing up to bigotry while leaving blatantly transphobic replies intact? lemmy.world moment!
This sounds like getting offended just for the sake of getting offended. Surely there's some room for not requiring 100% precision at all times?
Since JKR's bullshit it has become increasingly important to get it right.
It's ignoring that an entire group of people exists, I'm so fucking sorry that attempting to be inclusive is somehow offensive to you.
When it's people of color, everyone loses their goddamn minds, but when it's trans people it's "okay to not be 100% perfect"
Fuck off with this closeted transphobia and admit you just don't care enough about Trans people to be precise.
Edit: if you're gonna comment another transphoobia supporting thing, just fuck off or admit you don't care about trans people and inclusivity, honestly just go to Twitter or whatever trump is on nowadays because you clearly belong there.
Would "females" be a better term? It's more accurate to be sure, but using the word "females" - in (American) English at least - has a weird connotation that I don't always like.
"people with vaginas" encompasses everyone regardless of sexual identity, gender assignment, or anything else really.
My spouse is non-binary, has a vagina. Two of my male best friends have vaginas, although one had a historectomy and no longer menstruates. A few other friends have vaginas although I'm not sure if they menstruate anymore. One is gender fluid and has a vagina.
"male/man female/woman" is gendered language, and insisting that only women have vaginas and menstruate is 100% just saying a whole group of people isn't important enough for consideration, and that is inherently transphobic.
And for the record, yes "female" has a weird connotation in the US because right wing weirdos and incels seem to be unable to say "women" and don't view women as people.
But can we not do better than "people with vaginas" and "people who menstruate"? Those terms are overly cumbersome and in fact I would argue that they otherize trans people by pointing out the fact that they're different. Man/woman is gendered but we have lots of other terms for the different gender identities people have. Male/female are "gendered" terms because biological sex is binary.
Bleeders?
Bahaha you win ;) As a bleeder, I respect OP for asking for advice in supporting his daughter. A lot of men are weird about it. Only conversation I had with my dad about it was him yelling at me when I accidentally leaked on the mattress as a teenager.
I've never understood the weirdness.
When my wife and I were dating in high school, she was over at my house on her period and leaked through her pants. I got her clothes to change into, got out the Shout, and washed and dried her clothes.
The alternative would have been ending the date, which made no sense to me.
I’m sure that made her feel much better. Leaking is awkward enough on its own. My husband has also received comments for being progressive at the grocery store because he was buying tampons lol. Hopefully it keeps being normalized. Basically half of humanity experiences it.
The only thing that bothers me about buying feminine hygiene products is all the boxes look the same to me. There's 10,000 options, and all I have is a small, blurry picture on my phone that doesn't quite match any of them.
However, that's more related to the struggle of working someone else's grocery list.
It wasn't transphobia. It was directly towards specifically you.
OP is a dad trying to help his pubescent daughter be comfortable. I feel like the trans people I know would extend him grace here
as a trans woman i dont see a problem with this post most woman do menstruate just because im the odd one out doesn't mean i should be offended when questions like this are asked
The language, like you, are ignoring transmascs.
It’s not designed to exclude anyone and certainly not in mean spirit. I think you would be hard pressed to find many trans people who would find this verbiage offensive. It’s literally a parent asking a group how to support their daughter. Why pick fights when none is happening?
I don't know any trans people personally. I support trans rights. I could use non inclusive language because I fall back on the default in some unguarded moments. If anyone feels offended by my language I would apologise but I tend to get really defensive when attacked for a slip of the tongue.
I see what you mean but please be patient with us.
Actually if you read this again it goes like this: women of lemmy = people that menstruate. Assuming that women menstruate is a normal assumption. And asking women how to deal with such issues is also perfectly normal and alright.
Normal ≠ okay
It was once normal to call black people by a slur.
It was once normal to backhand a woman for daring to speak around men.
Don't tell a marginalized group that they're overreacting for being marginalized and someone comes in and says "it's normal so shut up about it"
You're just victimising yourself for no reason. The OP is just asking women because they usually have experience with this and is trying to help their daughter. Asking women for advice does not automatically exlude anyone with a vagina that does not identify as a woman.
Nothing about this post is marginalising anybody. Stop acting like a petulant child.
Also women might have experiences closer to those of OP's daughter than somevody else who did not always identify as a woman would have. It is a perfectly valid question in the sense of 'my daughter is having this specific issue -> how did other women deal with it at her age or even now'. None of this line of thinking is excluding the trans or being transphopbic or even anything in the vicinity of that.
Would you react the same way if a mom asked 'the men of lemmy' about a specific issue that her son is dealing with as a boy?
I agree with you. There are enough real trans issues out there without picking fights at innocent questions asked in good faith that are completely unrelated. Nowhere was there anything exclusionary in that post. If you look for negativity everywhere you’ll find it but you won’t make any friends and you probably won’t help your cause.
It's the 'I like waffles. - Oh so you hate pancakes?!' fallacy pretty much. Someone says something and then a different person finds something slightly related and spins it in a negative way.
That’s a good way of putting it. It was such a hostile reaction to an innocent parental question like holy Batman.
I'm just glad to see most people agree the response was totally unwarranted and unnecessarily hostile.
Nevermind, I shouldn't comment on this.
Your first version was funnier for sure xD Your daughter is lucky to have a supportive dad. Thanks for caring.
Ooh come on, you did not have to be snarky like that.
Holy transphobia, batman, they've forgotten transmascs exist!
About 25% of my friends are men who menstruate.
Read my other comments here, a large percentage of my friends are transmascs, no binaries, gender fluids, and varying between being capable of menstruating and not, while having vaginas.
I'm not conflating anything, thanks.
Jesus fucking christ, you CANNOT SAY YOU SUPPORT THEM WHILE SPOUTING RIGHT WING RHETORIC
It's right-wing rhetoric to support people embracing whatever gender identity they are regardless of biological sex?
"biological female" is a right wing term, yes. I have never once heard someone use it without the entire argument being bad faith.
Do you think my arguments are bad faith or are you just prejudiced because you've heard others use the terms maliciously? Is there anything I've said aside from referring to people with vaginas as "biological females" that you've disagreed with?