i kind of want a new name but its so hard to pick one. what name do i look like i would have?
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I'm not going to suggest a name because they're deeply personal and I don't know anything about you, but I will share a story instead.
I compare it to stargazing. Picture yourself laying on a hill on a calm night looking up at the night sky. The first thing you see is a scattering of stars, far too many to count. As you look around, you even start to notice the far away ones. But then you realize that they all shine differently. After a few minutes you start to pick out the brightest ones, about a dozen or so. Your eyes dart back and forth between them trying to connect them mentally. After doing this for a bit, you notice yourself bouncing back to the same 3 or 4 stars that seem to shine the brightest. You keep looking around trying to give each star a fair shot, but your eyes somehow always wander back to those brightest stars. Eventually, given enough time, you'll notice something peculiar about one in particular. Maybe it's the brightest, or the largest, or it has a slight tint that sets it apart. That is your star.
The stars represent countless possibilities, and the brightest one is your name. It takes time, don't rush it.