I don’t even know where to start.

this week goes in as another one of the best weeks in my life, and yet it’s gone by so fast.

monday was obviously the start of it all. during my free periods at school I got back to the house to pack vital stuff I needed to stay at my friend’s place. you can’t exactly carry a suitcase while riding a bike, so after school I left it at his place and took the bus instead. grabbing my things, hobbling onto the bus, sitting down, and watching that house disappear behind me, I felt like one of the biggest battles was finally over: my fight for life.

tuesday was my test day. after being able to study the night before and in the morning before I left, I did way better than I think I ever expected. I guess that’s what happens when the biggest worries melt away.

wednesday we all drove to the mall. we grabbed dinner, walked around, and I personally got to look at some clothes and accessories for inspiration. couldn’t really buy them right now with my priorities and all, but at least I have an idea of what I can look for at the thrift store!

thursday I got called down to guidance in the morning. my spawnpoint had called the school without specifics and my counselor wanted to know what was going on. I’d never been close to her before that, but with my best self-interests in mind, I did tell her about me being trans and what was going on between spawnpoint and I. I explained that I felt safe at my friends house. she understood my situation, and reassured she wouldn’t tell my spawnpoint where I was, only that I was safe. after school our other friend came to the house and we headed out, this time by ourselves. I got to get some of my snacks at the supermarket and some ingredients for my pasta!!!! it turned out great :3 pasta for everyone

obligatory transit and food photos

today during free periods I had to go back to that house. riding the route back I felt anxious, and actually going in just made me start to cry, even though I knew no one would be there. it just didn’t feel like home anymore. I got the last of my stuff, borrowed school books, important legal documents, and a tiny blahaj I left behind the first time. now, I’m on the road for good.

tonight, I go back to my local LGBTQ+ center for their weekly event to meet more people around my age and engage with the services they offer there. I won’t be back until late, but this is what’s best for me and there won’t be anyone to stop me.

I don’t know where I would be without these wonderful people in my life. honestly, I thought that actually living at his house would create a weird dynamic especially within a week and learning all the quirks of this family. but I already feel so at home, and my friend seems to agree as well:

that made me cry happy tears.

if someone had asked me at the beginning of the year where I saw myself, at no point would I have ever guessed something like this. but this (mostly) independent, dynamic lifestyle, where I’m just going anywhere, doing what I need to get done for myself, and not being scared of getting in trouble is just so much better than what I had before, or even no life at all.

the only regret I have is leaving my brother behind. the last thing I ever texted him was “I still love you.”. I really hope he knows that, remembers it, and believes it. I never wanted to hurt him like this and I so desperately hope he doesn’t hate me for leaving, but the truth is I won’t know for sure anytime soon. I'm not reaching out because he won’t have to lie to my spawnpoint about it and get in trouble.

if at the end of a long day you come back to a place with people that love, respect, and support you for who you are, that's what makes a place a home. I’ve learned that now.

here’s to rounding off my school year and continuing my path forward, starting right here in my new home ❤️🥂